(at the Chancellary Court, Public Informatorium, ground floor)
Atellus: And where would the fourth informatorium be?
Clerk: Erm...on the 56th floor.
Atellus: Of course it is.
(shortly after, ground floor, at the elevator)
Stig:
I call the elevator.
GM:
Nothing happens.
Stig:
Of course it doesn't.(a while (and a ton of red tape) after, entering the high-ranking Arbites' office on the 52nd floor)
Nihilus:
I enter the room through the door. And by that I mean through the door and not through the door frame.
Atellus:
I open the door with a Nihilus-shaped hole in it.(after leaving Inquisitor Sileas Marr's office, 169th floor, room XIII)
Nihilus: We better hurry before he moves his office somewhere else.
GM:
Sadly, no container full of body parts.Stig: Erm. This wall is living. I think.
Nihilus (dryly): So let's kill it.
Stig:
Do not look directly into the operational end of the wall.(after having escaped a magmafilled underground cavern)
GM:
The lid opens and the room is flooded with...
Stig and Atellus:
...lava!
GM:
...light.(at the auction in the House of Dust and Ash)
Stig:
So we can go through with our plan!
Nihilus:
Yes! Dress up the stuffed Genestealer with the Gown of Silken Dreams!GM:
Is anyone reading any books?
Nihilus (pointing at Stig):
Yes, he is reading the book unbound!
Stig:
(intranscribable sound of objection)Stig:
I will attack the guy who tried to grab my staff and-
(beat)
Nihilus and Atellus:
(bursting out with laughter)(shortly after, as Master Nonesuch is trying to attack Nihilus)
Stig (mischievously):
You should try to grab his sceptre.(while regarding the remains of Master Nonesuch)
Stig: You know what this reminds me of?
Atellus: Acreage.
Stig: Yes! Excellent planet!
Nihilus: No.
(after the combat servitors guarding a mysterious door have powered down on Nihilus' command)
Nihilus: Not to complain... but I'm starting to wonder why everything here erects, er reacts-
Yeah that's a quote. I know.(in the large tech room thingy)
Stig: Hey, brain-guy!
(beat)
Lanus: Who are you talking to?
Stig: You, idiot!
Lanus: That is antithetical.
Stig: I know. That's why I said it.
(beat)
Stig (cont'd): Do you know your way around tech stuff?
Lanus: I know my way around book stuff. That is also antithetical.
(beat)
Stig: So, you're no help down here?
Lanus: That depends on what you need help with.
Stig: Excellent question! I'll get back to you.
(stunned silence)
(after the pipe vented excess pressure)
Nihilus: Hey! I know a way to get rid of the power.
Enoulian Trouble Detector:
Bip.(after walking for 5 hours through the whatever detention complex thingy on Quaddis)
Atellus (excited): 93 62! The numbers!
Stig: Yes, they're the same as below.
Atellus: No, I mean 93 62! Don't you remember?
Stig (annoyed): Yes! The generator below. I know.
Atellus: No! Don't you remember? RYGA 93 62!
Stig (dryly): Right. Also that.
(while investigating a weapons crate)
GM:
You may roll on Forbidden Lore (Warp)
Nihilus:
That doesn't sound too good.
Stig (rolling):
Okay...
GM:
The Chronal Energizer is a-
Atellus:
Watch.(while escaping the Beast House)
GM: The elevator goes up and puts you, 4 bloodied, beaten up guys with two deployed heavy weapons...
(expecting silence)
GM: ... into the middle of a carnival crowd.
(discussing whether to go see The Soothing Songs of the Sisters of Seylany)
Stig: We are
not paying two hundred and fifty Thrones for a theater ticket.
Atellus: But I want to see
The Soothing Songs of the Sisters of Seylany.
Nihilus: We could just kill the guy at the backdoor and sneak in.
(Desperate looks from Stig and Atellus)
Nihilus: What?!
(beat)
Atellus: We're not killing a guy just to see
The Soothing Songs of the Sisters of Seylany!
(in a theatre in Xicarph, shortly prior to The Soothing Songs of the Sisters of Seylany)
Severus Alaric: Atellus? Attelus Ravion?!
Nihilus (making the Cover: Blown gesture):
Cover: Blown!(Stig flying into scene with his insect wings)
Nihilus: Buzz off.
(back at the carnival, after having brutally murdered a guy in a dark alley)
Nihilus:
I'm looking for some cotton candy 'cause I'm in a particularly good mood.(talking to one of the arena guys)
Arena Official: We have an infant carnosaur. It's just an infant, so you might as well...
Nihilus: An infant that still eats eighteen grox a day.
Stig:
I step on his foot.
Nihilus:
I glare at him. From behind my cotton candy.(in pursue of the Spider Bride)
Nihilus: A spider has eight legs
Nihilus: Unless someone hacks
Nihilus: Some of them away
Nihilus: And the spiders sway
(in toilet stalls next to each other)
Stig:
I cough twice.
(long pause)
Stig: I think I got a cold. You know that?
I do the toilet talk thingy.
Nihilus: Don't do that. It's wrong.
Stig: Oh good! It's you.
Nihilus: Oh no. It's you.
(on the topic of questions asked by Stig)
Nihilus:
Following his train of thought is like trying to run after the trans-siberian railway. It's cold, it's tiresome and you're not gonna catch up anyway.
Atellus:
And you're probably going to get attacked by bears.(discussing what to do with The Steel Clock)
Atellus: Well my idea would be to acquire some sort of elongated poking device and touch the clock with that.
Nihilus:
So basically.. a Stig?(in The Great Estate of Gabriel Chase, talking to a servitor)
Stig (to the group): I hate servitors.
Stig (to the servitor): Thank you
so much.
(the servitor leaves)
(inside the secret passage behind the painting)
Atellus: I mean this is probably going to help us a lot, but don't you think that these things are getting a little
too cliché?
Enoulian Trouble Detector:
Bip-bip-bip.
(beat)
Atellus (resigned): Oh great.
(in the secret room)
NIhilus:
I put my finger on the device and think: "Servitors in the Entrance Hall, tickle The Widower."(general quote)
Anyone (to Atellus): What does it say?!
(as everything goes awry)
Stig: But hey, at least-
(pause)
Stig: Actually, I can't think of anything positive right now. I'll get back to you.