Epic Quotes and Moments (Dead Stars) - Part 1

Modified on Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:16 by Administrator — Categorized as: Meta, OP07 - Dead Stars

(end of the first playsession)
Stig: Alright, well, my dear Mr. Singing Club and fellow players...
(long stunned silence)
GM: (exasperated) What is happening? Are we still playing?

(while paying the still-unconscious Stig in the medical bay)
Nihilus: (to the doctor) Will he stay mute?
Doctor: Why would he stay mute?
Atellus: He's not mute. He's unconscious. I already told you.
Nihilus: Will he get mute?
Doctor: Why would-
(he looks to Atellus seeking for help)
Atellus: Don't mind him...he has this thing in his head...I don't know.

(after being unconscious for two days and having a strange dream shortly before waking up, Stig wakes up)
Stig: (immediately sitting up straight, hearing Atellus' voice) Is that hammer? I need a pen and paper!

(after furiously scribbling down his dream right after waking up)
Stig: (folding the paper) So...why am I in here? (folding the paper again)
Atellus: Radiation poisoning.
Stig: Ah, yes.
Atellus: But you can't remember. You just fell down.
Stig: Alright - I was trying to, but if I can't, that's fine as well.

(shortly thereafter)
Stig: (to the doctor) Yeah, well...thanks for...depoisoning the radiation...and...
Stig: uh...yes...I think...I just have...quite the idea...
Nihilus: Oh no, here we go again.
Stig: Yes, I'm in my chamber. I need my candle.
(a beat)
Atellus: Your what?
Stig: My candle.
Nihilus: Are you going to ignite yourself for the glory of the Emperor?
Stig: Uh...oh yes - no.
Nihilus: Shame.
(a beat)
Nihilus: What do you need the candle for?
Stig: Ah, I'm glad you asked--
(Atellus looks around, sighs and walks off)
Atellus: I'm in my captain's quarters.
Nihilus: Now that you mention it...
Nihilus: Candle. Watch. Watch meeting. Right. Master at Arms meeting. Gotta go.
(Nihilus runs off)
Stig: Yes, that's exactly what I need the candle for.

(back on the bridge, Atellus meets Lucius Zephyr for the first time after the Cù Sìth almost crashed into a moon)
Atellus: Commander, good to see you.
Zephyr: (dryly) You too.
Atellus: Yeah...things got a bit...hectic down there.
Zephyr: Oh, fortunately things didn't get a bit hectic up here at all.
Atellus: So what exactly did you do to make us crash into the moon.
Atellus: I didn't do anything. There was some sort of rogue AI down there.
Zephyr: And what'd you do to piss it off?
Atellus: It was already pissed on.
(a beat)
Zephyr: So, where are we going?
Atellus: Right.
Atellus: This is gonna be a looooong trip, I think.
(a beat)
Atellus: Mara.
(long pause)
Zephyr: Come again?
Atellus: Mara. That's where we need to go.
(another long pause)
Zephyr: (laughs) Yeah...funny thing. You see, I thought you were talking about Mara as in "the forbidden world of Mara".
Atellus: Oh yes, yes...
(and yet another long pause)
Zephyr: WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO DESTROY THIS SHIP?!
Zephyr: It's a FORBIDDEN WORLD for Emperor's sakes. Why would we go there? It's insane!
Atellus: So, we get near Mara and then take a shuttle there...and the ship will be fine.
Zephyr: Yeah, I'm sure of that.
Zephyr: Didn't already crash into a moon just now.
(a beat)
Zephyr: Alright, please excuse my while I go tell our navigator.
Zephyr: And prevent him from having a panic attack.

(Stig hands Nihilus' new sword to Atellus)
Stig: Well, Silver...I think he found out the violent way that this is indeed a crude warp manipulating device.
Atellus: And you give it to me?
Stig: Yes of course!
(stunned silence)

(a little later)
Stig: We need some kind of containment room for those things.
Stig: You know, like a room where we assemble all dangerous and explosive and unstable things.
Atellus: Sounds like an excellent idea.

(talking about going to Mara)
Stig: So...did you already ask for permission?
Stig: I was out...some time.
Stig: How long was I out...by the way?
Atellus: Couple of days?
Stig: A couple of days?
Atellus: Permission?
Stig: It was more like a couple of weeks from all the insight I gained!
Stig: I think...uh...I have to tell you about the snakes sometime.
Stig: Uh...yes. Permission. I think you have to ask someone for permission.
Stig: Because it's forbidden?
Atellus: Who?
Stig: Yeah...I don't know?

(after coming back from telling the navigator the Acolytes want to go to Mara)
Zephyr: Well, we're ready to go to our deaths in about an hour.
Atellus: Okay.
Nihilus: (to himself) Well, better go ask for permission then... Zephyr: Any other ridiculously dangerous things you wanna do till then?
Atellus: Hold that thought.
Atellus: Well...
(long pause)
Atellus: I thought about it...and I've come to the conclusion...
Atellus: ...that I'm first going to ask for permission.
Atellus: To go to Mara.
Atellus: Which might slightly decrease our chances of...
Atellus: ...imminent death.
(stunned silence on the part of Zephyr)

(Nihilus calls a meeting of his subordinates)
Nihilus: Well...somebody blew a moon up with me almost still on it.
Nihilus: That sword I found was some freaky warp stuff.
Nihilus: And we're going to some planet I absolutely hate.
Nihilus: So: boarding drill.

(on the vox)
Atellus: Hey Nuts, are you there?
Stig: You forgot to say over. Yes, I'm here. Over.

(still on the vox)
Atellus: I think our tech guys might've got the Teleportarium to work again.
Stig: (exited) That's pretty exciting!
Atellus: Yes, it is. You think it's a good idea to turn it on while we're in the warp?
Stig: (really enthusiastic) Absolutely not!

(in a corridor of the Cù Sìth, Atellus gets intercepted by Nihilus)
Nihilus: Boss, sign!
(he hands him a requistion form, filled out be Eupheme, signed by himself and the Quartermaster, stating the immediate addition of five pieces of sweet to be handed out to every armsman on board's gear)
Atellus: Alright.
Atellus: Two questions.
Atellus: Where do we get all those sweets? And, probably more importantly...
Atellus: Why?

(the Techpriests have begun to try to repair the non-functional teleportarium)
GM: So, what do you do?
Atellus: Well, there's two obvious choices...
Atellus: Either I get there in time to prevent the worst from happening...
Atellus: ...or I get out there in time to prevent the worst from happening to me.

(on the vox, in Orbit above Scintilla, while the Techpriests are attempting to repair the Teleportarium)
Stig: I kind of was hoping I could watch what this machinery does. It's really...very...
Stig: Machinesque.
Nihilus: What machinery?
Stig: The teleportarium! They think it's working. You know-
Nihilus: Yeah...I think I'll visit the Strophes.
Nihilus: Right...about...now.
Nihilus: I'll be at the hangar.
(he closes the vox link)
Stig: Yeah, if you wouldn't mind I'd rather stay up here. But when you're down there - you're going down there?
(no response)
Atellus: He didn't say over.

(a little later)
Stig: So, when you're going down there, please see if you can find anything about the radiation.
Stig: Radiation is...well...you know the stuff, you lie around for a few days, can't do anything...
Stig: Not the best.
Atellus: What radiation?
Stig: You still didn't read the report on the planet we're going to?
Atellus: (defensive) I meant to...but then I got distracted...
Stig: Yeah...there's radiation.
Atellus: (tired) Again?
Stig: Well...last time there was rain...so radiation is definitely the better choice.
Atellus: I'm not sure about that...
Stig: Trust me. Rain is evil.

(Stig is contacting Atellus - who is currently not aboard the ship - about a malfunction in the newly repaired Teleportarium)
Stig: Excellent news! The teleportarium is...kind of working!
Stig: Except that it...seems to...do not...isn't quite...controlled while...teleporting...your...ship stuff...around.
Atellus: What?
Stig: But I got a nice table here from the mess hall.
Stig: Oh and your tech priests are disappearing.
Atellus: What?!

(a while later)
Stig: Oh yes, there is another thing. While the device is throwing out your old furniture, it does seem to be reluctant of doing so with people.
Stig: I don't know though if that's just Emperor's Luck or...
(Stig is randomly teleported to the bridge)
Stig: Oh, the bridge, how nice.

(the Teleportarium has been shut down, shorting out the ship's main power)
Techpriest: We seem to have lost main power.
Stig: Sooo...better find it.
Stig: Couldn't have gone far.

(shortly after, Atellus manages to contact Stig from a dropship hovering just outside the ship)
Atellus: Hey!
Stig: Ah, yes! Hello there!
Atellus: Why did you turn off the lights?
Stig: Well, I didn't...but apparently somewhere on the ship there's main power loose.
(a beat)
Atellus: What?
Stig: Well, that's what they told me anyway...

(a little later, still over vox)
Stig: But...everyone seems healthy.
Stig: It's just a bit...
Stig: Dark.
Stig: And a bit...well, I don't know what needs power, so...
Atellus: (tired) Everything?
Stig: (cheerfully) Ah yes, so everything's out. Of order.
Atellus: Especially...life support?
Stig: (still cheerfully) Oh yes! That too.
(a beat)
Atellus: Where are you?
Stig: I'm at the teleportarium.
Atellus: Where are the tech priests?
Stig: They walked off. Presumably to find the main power.

(another little bit later, still on vox)
Stig: So, how's the Strophes?
Atellus: Didn't get to the house until the catastrophe happened.
Stig: Hm.
(a beat)
Stig: What catastrophe now?
Atellus: The main power...of my ship...is gone?
Stig: Well...it will get back again.
(main power comes back on)
Stig: See?

(Atellus is just back on board after the power outage and immediately runs into his XO)
Zephyr: Seriously?
(a beat)
Zephyr: You know, I can accept the fact that you're obviously attempting to destroy this ship.
Zephyr: Or at least kill me.
Zephyr: But please at least tell me before you activate some ancient machinery aboard this ship.
Zephyr: You know, just so I don't wonder why I'm suddenly at the other end of the ship.
Atellus: Well...
Zephyr: Or why the power's going out!
Zephyr: OR WHY THERE'S FURNITURE FLOATING OUTSIDE THE SHIP!
(a beat)
Atellus: To look on the bright side, however...
Atellus: I managed to delay the tech priests until we were out of warp.
(another beat)
Zephyr: Oh how very captainy of you.

(after seeing the Cù Sìth is basically okay, Nihilus has taken the first shuttle down to Scintilla again, visiting the Strophes)
Julia Strophes: (hugging Nihilus) Oh, good to see you!
Julia Strophes: What brings you here?
Nihilus: Naked fear?


(Nihilus has just asked Julia Strophes for a contact to deliver him fifty thousand pieces of sweets)
Julia Strophes: Oh, what do you need so much sweets for?
Julia Strophes: Are you planning a party?
Nihilus: Yeah...
Nihilus: A boarding party.

(voxing Atellus and Nihilus)
Stig: Hammer, Silver, could you come by for a second?
Stig: (not waiting for a reply) Or...actually more than a second. It might take a bit longer.
Atellus: (exhausted) Where are you?
Stig: In my cabin. Of course, I should have mentioned that.
Stig: I'm in my cabin. Could you come over there for a second?
Stig: Or a bit longer.
Atellus: Give me a second.
Atellus: Or a bit longer.
Nihilus: Do I absolutely have to?
Stig: I would like so...
Nihilus: I'll be over there shortly.
Nihilus: And away again shortly after that.

(Stig is trying to convince Nihilus to use the crazy warp weapon again)
Stig: First...uhm...that sword. You said you didn't want it, and I can probably understand why, because the Immaterium is a crazy scary place.
Stig: But.
Stig: I have thought about it, and I have...discerned...that we might...probably...in the most unfortunate situation to encounter on Mara some...creatures of the Immaterium...
Stig: Which are, as you might probably know not very...vulnerable against worldly means of destruction...and I would personally feel a lot safer it you had the opportunity to actually damage them.
Stig: And I don't say you have to do that against normal enemies but would you perhaps please reconsider it in these special cases, yes?
Nihilus: No.
Stig: Oh yes, that's quite what I expected.

(a second later)
Stig: But.
Stig: Please, just think about it.
Nihilus: No.
Stig: Also what I expected.

(Stig is giving Atellus a psychic reading)
Stig: So, I want you to follow the strings of the future to a question in that regard.
Stig: Got me? So - what we are going to do now is-
(Atellus walks towards the door)
Stig: No no no, stay! It will only take half an hour.
Atellus: What are you talking about?
Stig: I'm pretty sure I explained it already.
Atellus: I'm pretty sure I didn't understand a word you just said.
Stig: Alright, sit down on this table please.
(Atellus sits down on the table, as Stig puts the Quatag on the table between them)
Stig: See, this is The Inspector. And he has fur.
Atellus: Yes?
Stig: Which represent the different outcomes of our future.
(he strokes the Quatag's fur)
Stig: And now I am using my abilities to answer a question - one! - of you, while searching the fur.
Stig: That should explain it quite nicely.
Stig: So, give it a second and then you can ask your question.
(some invocating later)
Stig: Alright - so, ask away!
Atellus: What the warp is going on?
Stig: That was a waste of a perfectly good personal augury.
(time passes, as Stig strokes the Quatag's fur)
Stig: Oh, that's a humanoid. And he's your doom. Or it.
Stig: Uh, worms.
(a beat, until he realizes what that means)
Stig: Aw no, no and no, no, NO.
Stig: Yes, we have...malign influences. Worms - you know what that means - and of course the Tyrant Star, as you can see here in the eye.
Stig: A black stone. What are you doing with a black stone?
Stig: Anyway, it helps you. Black stone. Remember that.
Stig: And so, in conclusion, i'd say...um...
Atellus: Stay away from the Tyrant Star and from you?
Stig: The greatest answers lie not in what is, but what could have been.
(long silence)
Atellus: Right. Leaving now.
Stig: Yes, thank you.
Stig: Although the question was kind of rubbish.

(as the Cù Sìth is heading into its first combat under the command of Lord Captain Atellus Ravion)
Lucious Zephyr: (turning to Atellus) Please don't kill us?

(after they have left combat victoriously)
Atellus: (to Stig) Nice work on calculating the firing solutions.
Stig: Thanks. Although I had no idea what I was doing.
Stig: It really just comes down to spotting the bleepy thingy.

(Stig is handing the ship's doctor the Psychneuein inoculation created by Haarlock to give to him)
Stig: See, I got this inoculation thingy, which I'm going to now let you apply to me.
Stig: This thing does have some side effects...
(he hands him the very long list of side effects)
Stig: ...which in some cases might require some assistance from you. That's why I'm here.
Doctor: (unsure) I see.
Stig: So - do your work.
Doctor: And...what exactly is this inoculation?
Stig: Ah, yes, it's an experimental and probably century old stuff which should be used to protect me against a warp predator living on that planet.
(long pause)
Doctor: I see.

(Atellus, referring to a perfectly uneventful Personal Augury session conducted for him by Stig)
Atellus: I wanted to talk to you - and I never thought I'd hear myself say that - about the thing that happened in your room. When we were alone.
Stig: Why yes, of course.
Stig: It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Atellus: So...what exactly happened there?
Atellus: Because you seemed to be more phased out than you usually are.
Stig: Well...you just had your first experience...in...let's say...
Stig: ...a Personal Augury.
(silence)
Stig: See, it's a-
Stig: I have the distinct feeling I explained this to you twice already.
Atellus: I don't remember anything.
Stig: Yes, well, it's about the strings of fate and the possibilities of future...
Atellus: I do remember you moving your hands around, but...
Stig: Well, let me...simplify it for you.
(Stig looks at him)
Stig: (in a very over-the-top Indian accent) You took a look at the future.

(on the bridge of a hulked enemy Raider-class vessel, Nihilus looks for "evidence" on the bridge)
Nihilus: (pointing at a huge, cogitator console built into the bridge) We'll be taking this.
Officer: I'm sorry - what?
Nihilus: We're taking this with us.
Officer: Why? How? What?
Nihilus: Three absolutely stupid questions.

(during another Personal Augury session, Stig sees a glimpse of Nihilus)

Stig: And I'm very very afraid but...what will be most helpful...is Silver.
Stig: (in a sad voice) I'm sorry.

(a little later)
Atellus: By the way, am I allowed to ask questions while you do that?
Stig: Yes of course, why not?
Atellus: I don't know, because you seem so concentrated and I don't want to break-
Stig: Yeah well, don't expect me to answer...

(after the end of the Personal Augury session)
Atellus: Last time I asked the stupid question you said something positive.
Atellus: Why wasn't there anything positive now?
Stig: Well, I'm afraid there was...
Stig: It was the Silver thing...
Atellus: Oh.
(very long silence)

(Nihilus, aboard the hulked Raider, is searching the Captain's Quarters)
Atellus: (via vox from the Cù Sìth) Maybe they had a captain but somehow hid the real information somewhere else.
Atellus: Like a second floor somewhere...hidden door...something like that?
Nihilus: Let me check that.
(Nihilus rams his power sword into the floor, cutting main power to the room)
Nihilus: The second floor was a stupid idea. It's dark now.
Atellus: Maybe you hit the main power.
Nihilus: Why is the main power in the floor?
Stig: (also via vox) Perhaps it just got scared and ran away again.

(Stig recognizes a symbol)
Stig: I think we've seen this before...
Nihilus: Where?
Stig: I don't know on some crate...?
Stig: Uhm...
Stig: I think it was the Acreage crate.
Stig: Yes, Acreage. Excellent planet.
Nihilus: No.

(Nihilus, via vox with a Techpriest of the Cù Sìth, specifically instructed by Stig to ask him yes or no questions)
Nihilus: Is there a list on the Cù Sìth of the components built into the Cù Sìth?
Leyden: Yes.
Nihilus: Is it feasible that another ship would also have such a list?
Leyden: Yes.
Nihilus: So...I'm terribly sorry about that, but...where would such a list be?
Leyden: Stored in the ship's main cogitator.
Nihilus: Um...around close to two meters high, about half a ton, mounted on the bridge?
Leyden: That would be the access terminal...
Nihilus: Are there secondary access terminals?
Leyden: Maybe...
Atellus: So you're telling me that your bringing me half a ton of a keyboard?

(a little later, still via vox)
Nihilus: Assuming we don't have power...how would we access the...uh...
Nihilus: ...cochitotor?

(Nihilus, via vox, referring to the other hulked ships)
Nihilus: Well, tell the Navy guys to keep it safe for us. I have body parts to deliver.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Something like that.

(Stig is using his powers to look into a closed crate)
Stig: So...what do we have here?
GM: Sadly, no container full of body parts.

(while Nihilus is still in Decon, Stig and Atellus have found a bomb in one of the crates he brought with him)
Atellus: (dead calm) This is Atellus Ravion for Nihilus Cromwell. Please come in.
Nihilus: This is Nihilus Cromwell?
Atellus: Are you alone right now?
Nihilus: No.
Nihilus: I'm still in decon.
(long silence)
Atellus: I'll handle that later.
(closes the vox-link)

(Stig is getting a headache from his Psychneuein inoculation)
Stig: It seems like the side-effects are kicking in.
Stig: I'm feeling quite headhurty.

(Atellus has requested a Techpriest to analyze the presumed bomb device)
Leyden: (quiet)This might very well be a bomb.
Stig: (clapping loudly) Ha! I knew it! It is a bomb!
Atellus: Stop clapping so close to the bomb.
Stig: (whispering) Do you think it has a clap sensor?

(Atellus is still standing next to the now-verified bomb, contacting Lucius Zephyr via vox)
Atellus: I need a dumping-a-thing-out-of-the-hatch-and-then-shooting-it-crew in the hangar.
Zephyr: You need what?
Atellus: Well.
Atellus: We have a thing on board that I don't really want there anymore...so I thought I...
Stig: (leaning into the vox) Oh come on, just tell him that you brought a bomb on board.
Atellus: I didn't bring a bomb on board!
Zephyr: You brought a bomb on board?!
Atellus: That's exactly the reaction I had when I realized that Nihilus had brought a bomb on board.
Nihilus: (also leaning into the vox) I asked if I should bring the crates on board.
Atellus: I didn't know there was a bomb in there!
Nihilus: Neither did I! That's why I asked.
Zephyr: Well - get it OFF board.

(after the bomb has been disposed of)
Stig: Alright, and now for something completely different.
Stig: As my headache has already arrived, maybe we should do so on Mara.

(after arriving on Mara)
Stig: This...planet is...wrong...
Atellus: So, this isn't Mara?
Stig: I didn't say it's the wrong planet, I said this planet is wrong.
Nihilus: If I had a Throne for every time you said something is wrong or sensed something...
Stig: Here's a Throne. I think I can spare one.

(referring to something he sensed about a compound on Mara)
Stig: See, the compound - it might not even be real.
Stig: Or today.
Nihilus: What.
Stig: Well, I was fairly clear, wasn't I?
Nihilus: (tired) No.

(what happens when the GM leaves the room for two minutes with a player)

Atellus: (quietly) I think it's his fourth or fifth possession. That would make a lot of sense.
Stig: (quietly) What...his Dark Heresy character wasn't possessed, was he?
Atellus: No, but he's...acting a little strange. With his gruesome fantasies?
Atellus: By the way - you do realize that even though they're in another room right now Philip will soon be able to hear us because we're recording?
Stig: Yes, of course.
Atellus: So don't say anything mean...like usually.
Stig: Like usually? I would never say that... ...I'm not even capable of thinking of something right now.
(a beat)
Atellus: (sing-sang) My bounty is over the ocean...
(a beat)
Stig: I'll never say anything inappropriate about the volume of this mother.

(the Acolytes found some kind of a device)
GM: It's more in the league of a screwdriver.
Stig: Is it sonic?
Atellus: It will make a sound if I hit you with it.

(the Acolytes observe a group of out-of-range guys guarding a compound, readying their weapons, including an RPG launcher)
Atellus: I smile.
Atellus: At some point I wave.

(in combat, after both an '01' attack roll and an '03' attack roll by the enemies has been countered by an '01' and '03' dodge, respectively)
(cannot be put into words) - MP3 (427 KB)

(Stig is on an open ice field, running towards four guys on top of a fortified wall shooting at him)
Stig: What have I ever done to you?
Stig: (getting hit by an RPG grenade and regenerating) It doesn't even hurt!
Stig: (standing at the foot of the wall) Do I need to get up there?!
Stig: (running past one guy being attacked by Nihilus to another one) See? They're coming for you!
Stig: (after Nihilus has started attacking the last guy) Please, would you mind keeping him in one piece at least?

(Stig uses the Spasm power on the last remaining guy)
Stig: Spasm!
(the guy twitches and accidentally shoots Stig in the face)

(Stig is interrogating the surviving opponent)
Stig: So...could you please tell my why in the Emperor's Name everyone -
Stig: and especially you and your comrades -
Stig: do have to keep shooting at us?

(Nihilus, standing on top of the compound wall, is attempting to fire an RPC launcher he looted at some abandoned vehicles - and, mostly for lack of a clue how to use the thing - shoots a tower of the Mara compound instead)
Nihilus: (peeking over the compound wall he's standing on) My bad. That's a lot harder than it looks.
Nihilus: I'll get better.
(he loads another RPG)
Atellus: (standing at the foot of the wall) PUT.
Atellus: IT.
Atellus: DOWN!
(a beat)
Nihilus: Why? It's not like anyone's going to complain!
Nihilus: Aside from that guy (referring to their captured opponent).
Nihilus: And fuck that guy.
Atellus: Stop destroying the thing we're about to look at!
Atellus: And stop being so loud!
Stig: You can shoot it later.
Stig: I think.
Stig: That shouldn't be a problem.
Stig: I think.

(Atellus, at the bottom of the eight metres high wall, is calling up to Stig, who's still up there with their newly aquired prisoner)
Atellus: Are you coming down any time soon?
Stig: Are you coming up any time soon?
Atellus: No.
(a few moments pass)
Stig: (calling out to Atellus) Sending you the guy down...there he comes!
(he throws the guy down the wall - the whole eight metres)

(Stig is interrogating their prisoner)
Stig: So, um, I'm sorry - what was your name again?
Prisoner: Makrade.
Stig: (to Atellus) Uh, what did he say? MacLaren? MacWayde?
Stig: I didn't get him.
Atellus: (to the prisoner) I'm sorry - what?
Prisoner: Makrade. Idiot.
Stig: Ah, thank you. No, my name's not idiot.


(during the interrogation)
Stig: Yes...you almost died twice, but you're still very healthy, aren't you?
Atellus: Because you threw him off the wall!
Nihilus: You threw him off the wall?
Stig: Hammer didn't want to come up, so he had to get down. Do you think I'm carrying him down there?
Nihilus: (gesturing wildly...with the RPG launcher in hand) What are you? Insane?!
Stig: No! How would you've gotten him down here?
Nihilus: (pointing the launcher at the wall) Not like this!
(the launcher goes off, shooting the wall)

(a few seconds of stunned silence later)
Stig: Well - it's a good thing I didn't do it that way. Because that way is really not good for the structural integrity of the wall.
Nihilus: It's hard. I'm still getting the hang of it. How hard could it have been to not throw him down a wall?
Stig: Well...again. What would you have done otherwise?
Stig: (addressing Makrade) What would you have down? I'm sorry if we left you out of the discussion.
Makrade: Not shot the wall, for starters.
Nihilus: (slightly offended) I said I'm sorry! It's difficult!

(Atellus takes to interrogating Makrade)
Atellus: What are you doing here on Mara?
Makrade: What are you doing here on Mara?
(long pause)
Atellus: What are we doing here on Mara?

(still during the interrogation, after Nihilus tried to send Stig off into a random direction to "look at something")
Stig: I didn't find anything where you pointed...
Nihilus: Go look more closely.
Stig: Wait! Wait - you just wanted to-
Stig: Oh, clever. Really clever. However. What's the year?
Atellus: WHAT?
Stig: Is the year. Right.

(a little later, Makrade is still refusing to give up any information)
Atellus: But we're the guys with the guns.
Atellus: And the crazy guy.
Stig: That's very impolite!
Stig: To use guns.
Stig: See, they did use guns. And see what it brought them.
Atellus: You.
Stig: Yes.

(Stig has taken over the interrogation - without too much success)
Stig: I'm just trying to extract information from you. That can't be so hard.
Makrade: Well, let me give you a hint. The first step in extracting information from someone is not telling them you're trying to extract information from them.
Stig: But why? So everyone knows we're on the same page, yes?
Stig: I'm good with people. Trust me.
Atellus: (whining) Why do you always have to get to the people first?

(Stig has just used his Psyniscience while exploring an abandoned house with strange phenomena)
Stig: (cheerfully) Oh! We're in a mixer!
Atellus: I look for the blades.

(Stig is trying to get Makrade to lead them to the entrance of a mineshaft where unspeakable horrors might be lurking)
Stig: So you should make the most of the time you have remaining and lead us to the mineshafts where the party is!
(long pause)
Makrade: The party?
Stig: I'm really not good at this stuff!
Atellus: Do tell!

(talking about music)
Stig: Yeah, it's obviously not from my home world. My home world music sounds a lot like...
(he starts drumming on a wooden door)
Nihilus: A horse?

(the rest of the Acolytes have caught up with Nihilus who went to explore the compound)
Atellus: (sighing relieved) Finally.
Nihilus: (looking at Stig, under his breath) Oh no. So soon.

(the Acolytes are trying to strike a deal with Makrade)
Makrade: Well...what I haven't realized yet is what you have to offer me...
Nihilus: Sweets?
(he hands him some sweets)

(Stig has just attached a banana onto the tip of a stick, handing it to Atellus)
Stig: (to Atellus) Here.
(a beat)
Atellus: What?
Mihilus: You got it wrong. That's not a marshmallow.
Stig: Well of course. A marshmallow would not be of much use here.
Nihilus: What's that spposed to mean? Marshmallows are always of use! They're tasty.
Stig: Yes, but the point of this banana is not to be tasty but to be carried in front of one not as one may think to-
Atellus: That's genius!
Stig: Yes I know.

(Atellus and Stig are discussing strange temporal phenomena)
Stig: No, they didn't die right now, because there was a time gap in between.
Atellus: Yes.
Stig: Didn't you see the gap?
(Nihilus looks down on the floor)
Nihilus: No, I see no gap.

(Atellus is trying to convince Nihilus to go down into the mine tunnels with them, who doesn't want to go "because it's black")
Atellus: We have lights. It can't be black.
Nihilus: Just because there's light doesn't mean it can't be black.
Atellus: A light is something that is specifically designed to make things that are black not black.

(still discussing the same thing)
Stig: If you insist, I can just have a look.
Stig: I invocate.
(Atellus takes a step back)
Stig: Then I do nothing for a second.
(Atellus takes another step back)
Stig: (to Nihilus) No, it's not black.

(player discussion, entering the central tower)
GM: (to Atellus) So you go first?
Stig: Of course he goes first. He has the elongated poking device with the banana.
Atellus: (correcting him) The indicator device.
Stig: The indicator device, I'm sorry.
Atellus: And that can't be given to anyone else.
Stig: Yes, because you have Tech Use.

(before entering the central tower, Atellus turns the volume on the Enoulian Trouble Detector up again)
Enoulian Trouble Detector: Bip.
Stig: See, the Enoulian Trouble Detector thinks it's not that bad.
(silence)
Stig: Come on, it's just "Bip". We've seen "Bip Bip".
(Nihilus grabs Atellus and pulls him towards the elevator leading into the mine shafts)
Enoulian Trouble Detector: Bip bip.

(a little after, talking about the Enoulian Trouble Detector)
Stig: (whispering to Atellus) Do you think it will get worse when we go deeper?
Atellus: (turning the volume all the way down) No, I don't think so.

(the acolytes arrived on the second level of the tower, where Nihilus has previously shot a whole into a tower wall - and the stairwell leading upwards)
Atellus: See, now, if you hadn't shot that tower before...
Nihilus: (taking out and handing the launcher to Atellus) I said I'm sorry!
(Atellus throws himself to the ground)

(after Atellus has gotten up again)
Nihilus: Anyway, I'm not giving it to you. I was just making a point.

(the acolytes have attempted to pass the damaged stairwell, which caused Atellus to fall down eight metres and face-first into the snow below)
Stig: (sticking his head outside, yelling) Why do you do those things? Didn't you notice that it's extremely dangerous to call upon the immaterium here?
Atellus: MP3 (357 KB)

(Makrade is alone with Atellus while Nihilus and Stig are off in the top level of the tower)
Makrade: By the way - those two guys are insane. You do know that, right?
Atellus: Very much.
Makrade: Alright, just checking.
(a beat)
Atellus: When did you get the clue?
Atellus: Was it when he (Stig) threw you down the wall and he (Nihilus) shot the building that we're in right now?
Makrade: Sadly, I think it was when he was hanging heads-down from the ceiling and asking stupid questions.
Atellus: He does both of these things...

(shortly after entering the mine shafts, one of the Psychneuein vaccine's side effects kicks in as Stig falls face-first flat onto the ground)
Nihilus: Are you dead?
Stig: (muffled) I'm not dead, I'm just lying on the ground.
Atellus: Okay.
Atellus: Why?
Stig: I can't really feel my legs. Or arms. Or anything.
(Atellus pokes his legs with the Banana On A St...uuh...The Indicator Device)
Stig: I just said: I can't feel that.
Stig: But I can see you.
Nihilus: (to himself) This would be so much easier if his condition was reversed...
(Atellus turns him around and crouches down beside him)
Atellus: (in a quiet voice) So - why?
Atellus: Because I somehow think that it's your fault.

(Atellus is "scanning" a bunch of dead bodies with The Indicator Device)
GM: Yes, so...before you can even get to waving the Banana On A Stick over the dead bodies-
Stig: When you say it like this it sounds silly.

(about a hundred times)
Stig: (sensing something) Huh.

(Nihilus has been carrying the unconscious Makrade for a while)
Stig: If you're having trouble I can help you carry him?
Nihilus: I'm having trouble. It has nothing to do with carrying him.

(the Acolytes have found a huge body of water that's actually made up of millions of tiny lifeforms)
Stig: Well, good news is: this isn't water. Bad news is-
Atellus: Why is that good news?
Stig: Oh...well...I...thought...you didn't like water?
Stig: Scratch that. News: this isn't water. It's actually...creatures.
Stig: Huddled really tight together.
Stig: Will probably eat you.
Stig: I think.

(a few seconds later)
Atellus: Huh.
Stig: That's what I say in such a situation!

(after discussing the lake for a while)
Atellus: Maybe the Tesseract is at the bottom of the lake!
Nihilus: Well...drink up then.

(the Acolytes have found a vox device with a strange, barely audible voice coming through)
Stig: Alright, I think it's "help me...something with a crane?".

(Makrade has just regained consciousness and Atellus explains what happened)
Atellus: And, while we were investigating the room you suddenly took one of the rifles and wanted to shoot yourself.
Atellus: But we stopped you.
Stig: Correction: I did.
Atellus: He stopped you.
Makrade: Well...thanks...
Stig: Second time saving your life, by the way.
Stig: Third time if you count in the throwing off the wall.
Stig: But I didn't count that in because...you know...I threw you off the wall.

(the Acolytes just found three dead guys, one of them partially stuck inside a wall)

Stig: Alright, so someone came here and killed them while they were trying to help him who got a bad case of begin-fused-with-the-wall.

(still underground, Nihilus has just went ahead searching a number of rooms and returned)
Stig: Uh, Silver, what did you find in the other rooms?
Nihilus: Bo-ring.
Stig: (sighs) Let's check the other rooms.
Nihilus: I just said there was nothing there! Just boring stuff!
Stig: Well...you find ancient tomes about the secrets of the universe probably boring.
Nihilus: Of course. Who wouldn't?
Stig: My point.

(a bit later)
Stig: Or...a note lying around: "My super secret evil plan is..." would be the same boring, yes?
Atellus: Well, if it doesn't continue, it's not of much use...

(still a bit later)
Nihilus: When can we leave? This planet, I mean?
Stig: When we un-doomed it.
Stig: Same as ever.
Nihilus: No. Atellus, when can we leave?
Atellus: What he said.
Nihilus: We never un-doom the planet.
(a beat)
Atellus: Of course we did.
Atellus: Don't be so negative.
Stig: The only thing you generally don't un-doom is moons if I remember right.
Atellus: Yeah...didn't really get the hang of moons yet.

(The Indicator Device has just crumpled to dust, but Atellus managed to stop in time)
Stig: Alright, what is it?
(Atellus shows him the remains of the crumpled stick)
Stig: Awwwwwwww! I wanted to eat that!

(Stig is analyzing the remains of The Indicator Device)
Stig: Is...at some point...just...Schicht im Schacht...as the...ancient germans... (interrupted by laughter)

(Stig is just plucking himself from a wall after narrowly escaping an antimatter explosion)
Nihilus: Throne, you survived again?
(Stig has gotten first to Marshrek - from The House of Dust and Ash - whom they've found in Mara's corridors)
Marshrek: Oh yes I do know you!
Stig: Yes of course you know me!
Marshrek: You were at the House of Dust and Ash. How the hell did you get here?
Stig: Well...seems like there's a big party going on here so everyone's invited, isn't it? Nihilus: (just arriving) Wrong place, wrong time, and most of all the wrong person doing the talking!

(on the topic of Marshrek's plan, which Stig deems suicidal)
Stig: I admit that the concept of fear is pretty hindering in the pursuit, but the concept of rationalism is not.
(silence)
Marshrek: Going now.
(he turns around to leave)

(Nihilus uses the Chronal Energizer to sneak up on Makrade, holding to knives to his throat and stop him from walking away)
Marshrek: Whoa! How'd you do that?
Marshrek: Why did you do that?
Nihilus: I just do. Ask him.
Stig: Who? Me?
Marshrek: Could someone get this nutjob away from me?
Atellus: ...is what Lanus has been thinking all the time.

(Nihilus is still holding the knives at Marshrek's throat while Stig keeps on talking to him)
Nihilus: While talking, would you make yourself useful?
Stig: Doing what?
Nihilus: Left pouch.
(Stig grabs into Nihilus' left pouch, finds sweets and offers them to Nihilus)

(Stig is still talking to Marshrek)
Stig: Silver!
Stig: Do you have another sweet for me?
(a beat)
Nihilus: Well, go ahead and try it.
Nihilus: It might be poisoned.

(the interrogation is still going on)
Marshrek: So...what in the Emperor's name do you want from me?
Stig: I think we've been pretty clear, haven't we?
Marshrek: No!
Stig: Why do people always answer "no" to that question? That's a question that's supposed to be answered with "yes, now I see your point" or "hm, perhaps you're right".
Stig: But not with "no"!
Marshrek: But I don't! And you're probably not!
(a beat)
Nihilus: (whispering to Atellus) What do we want?
Marshrek: THANK YOU!
Nihilus: (apologetic) I...knew at the beginning of the conversation...I just...forgot...

(Stig is determining a walking order for the new group, inkluding Marshrek)
Stig: So, right, um...you're probably best near...Silver?
Marshrek: I think nobody's right near Silver.
Stig: Oh don't say that. He's a pretty sweet guy.
Stig: Get it?

(a while after)
Stig: Excellent! I'm always glad when all people agree on something.
Nihilus: Yes. Because that's when you stop talking!
Stig: Yes. Exactly.

(the Acolytes are exploring the caves)
GM: The Indicator Device does not signal any apparent danger.
Nihilus: Which is a fancy way of saying that the banana does not turn into dust.
GM: Yes.
Atellus: Stop picking on The Indicator Device!

(still exploring)
Nihilus: Boss...I think the...beepy thing is broken.
Atellus: What do you mean?
Nihilus: The...the beepy thing...
Stig: The Enoulian Trouble Detector?
Nihilus: Yes! It's broken.
Atellus: Why?
Nihilus: It didn't make a single sound at the greenish lake.


(awkward silence)
Atellus: Well...maybe...the greenish lake...wasn't dangerous...to the Enoulians.
(more awkward silence)

(a little later)
Nihilus: Ha! We can test if it's broken!
Stig: How so?
Nihilus: We just have to get to the elevator. It beeped at the last elevator. So probably elevators were dangerous to Enoulians.

(a little while later)
Stig: (to Lanus) But...if they created a device to warn them...
Stig: Wouldn't that...just...indicate bad elevators?
Lanus: Well if this was a good...Bad-Elevator-Detection-Device then I suppose it would, yes...

(the Acolytes have just met Novator Benhamin Nostromo, Navigator to Erasmus Haarlock)

Atellus: Mind the straightforward question, but...why are you sitting in this cave?
Stig: Yes, that's what I was getting to, because there's nothing to navigate here.
Stig: Or is there?
Nostromo: Nostromo can navigate the caves. But Nostromo can never leave.
Stig: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(a beat)
Atellus: What?

(talking to Nostromo)
Nostromo: (talking to and referring to Stig) What does he mean?
Stig: Who now?
(seconds pass)
Stig: (gets is) Aaaaahhh yes, me!

(still talking to Nostromo)
Nostromo: (to Nihilus) Does Silon Cain really not remember?
Nihilus: I don't know! If I see him I ask him!
Atellus: We assume that Silon Cain may have fallen on his head and is a bit confused right now.

(a bit later, during the same conversation)
Nostromo: Do you have food?
Stig: Of course!
Stig: That's The Indicator Device, you can't have that.
Stig: But I think I got a cookie here...

(still a bit later)
MP3 (611 KB)

(after Stig has gone off on a conversational tangent again)
Atellus: (clears his throat) Well, back to my question!
Stig: You had a question?
Atellus: Yes.
Stig: Aw.

(a little later, still in the same conversation)
Stig: So did you even read my notes?
Atellus: Notes?
Stig: Right, I didn't give them to you.

(Nostromo explains about one of the Keys he needs to lead the Acolytes)
Nostromo: Is was shaped like a heart.
Stig: Oh yes, that's very useful.
Stig: (to Atellus) Especially to you.
(seconds pass)
Atellus: I feel like I should remember something.

(the Acolytes just found out that Marshrek had one of the Maps Nostromo also needs to guide them)
Stig: So - good news is: we know where the map is.
Stig: Bad news is: it's probably vanished in the light-eating, probably-lethal environment.

(still during the same conversation)
Nihilus: Silon Cain knows all of this.
Stig: (looking at Nihilus) Yes, why does Silon Cain not remember?
(Nihilus grabs him by his coat, shaking him)
Nihilus: I'm! Not! Silon! Cain!
Stig: (dead calm) I was not implying that.

(a little later)
Lanus: I should've never gone to that auction.
Stig: Why would you say that? You would have never met us!
Lanus: Precisely.
Stig: Yes, so why would you wish for not having gone there?
Lanus: Because whenever you're around, I'm almost dying.
Atellus + Stig: Almost!

(the Acolytes are walking through the tunnels, now lead by Nostromo)
Stig: Did you already ask for sweets?
Nihilus: (sad) Silon Cain did not give me any sweets...
Stig: (to Nihilus) Would you perhaps be so kind - if Silon Cain doesn't - to give him some sweets?

(after finding out that another faction in the tunnels has the Key they need)
Stig: So, plan is: we seek them out, take them down, take the key...and then probably make the worst decision of our lives?
Atellus: Mhm.
Stig: Excellent!

(fleeing from a floodwave of a radioactive, waterish substance, Stig and the Quatag grow an additional pair of legs and sprint past the other Acolytes)
GM: Sprinting past you is a four-legged Stig and a six-legged Inspector.
Atellus: THIS IS THE LAST THING I SEE?!

(Nihilus attempts to collapse the tunnel using a completely-unknown-to-him type of RPG with an RPG launcher he doesn't know how to use)
Nihilus: (while taking aim) That one's on you, boss.

(after inspecting the collapsed section of tunnel, Nihilus turns around, holding up one of the two remaining unknown RPGs)
Nihilus: (to Atellus) You owe me one of these.

(Stig is talking to a group of four strangers, all of them pointing weapons at the Acolytes, with Nihilus standing beside him)

Nihilus: Point them away from me or I'm liable to get very upset. I'm not having a good day!
Stig: He's really not.

(a little later)
Stig: However, we are next-cave neighbours, so to say, and I just wanted to come by to say hi.
Stig: And talk a bit.
(seconds of silence pass)
Guy 1: Who are you?
Stig: Well, you see, I really can't tell you my name.
Stig: But that's not because I don't like you.

(Stig is briefing the rest of the Acolytes about an extremely powerful enemy psyker he detected)

Stig: The worst case scenario is: he is good with controlling flames. Then we're all toast.
Stig: He could be the one controllind minds. Then we start to kill each other.
Stig: (exited) Oh! Oh! He could really be good at lifting things. Then you have the problem of heavy mining machinery falling on your head. Stig: In the best case he's just able to read your very thoughts...which is not that problematic in a combat situation.
Stig: Or he's able to tell the future. Kinda annoying because he's able to tell what people are going to do.
Stig: Or, of course, he's just like me.
Stig: Then we're all doomed.

(Nihilus is single-handedly dismembering a group of enemies while Atellus and Stig are standing at the cave entrance (mostly) watching)
Stig: (as an enemy torso is flying his way, cheerfully) Bit careful there!

(Atellus has just killed off one of the two remaining survivors of the group of four enemies as Nihilus finishes slashing the other one)
Nihilus: (looking at the remains, then at Atellus) Well, I guess that settles who's helping me dig, doesn't it?

(the Acolytes are standing in front of a hole in the ground, pondering as to how to get down)
Nihilus: (referring to Makrade) Can't we...make him...do something useful?
Nihilus: Like, test out how deep the hole is? By falling?
Stig: I can go and have a look...but that doesn't bring you down there. It's at least 25 metres or something like that.
Stig: (to Nostromo) How deep is it?
Nihilus: I could do it with four degrees...
Nostromo: Nostromo thinks it's a few hundred metres.
Stig: Ah, a few hundred metres!
Nihilus: I couldn't do that with four degrees.

(the Acolytes have just arrived down in the lowest levels of Mara, where Nihilus has completely freaked out after finding the place he was once betrayed and left to die by Erasmus Haarlock)
Nihilus: (suddenly very calm and confused) Nothing fits together. Everything is broken. Splinters. Shards. Reflections.
Stig: (calmly, dead serious) That's why it is so very much important to know who we are and what we are going to do now.
Stig: It's this place. It's a mixer.
Nihilus: (shouting) Kill and get out!
(a beat)
Stig: It's a mixer. It mixes things up.
Stig: You...We have to keep ourselves together.
Nihilus: (unsure) I am whole.
Stig: And you need to stay that way.
Nihilus: (enraged) What do you mean, stay? I'm broken! Can't you see that?
Stig: (calmly) No I can't.
(Nihilus points at a distorted reflection of himself on a wall)
Nihilus: See!
Stig: This is a place. ... What's important is that (pointing at him).
Stig: That's where you have to be whole. ... (gesturing around the room) Not there.
(silence)
Nihilus: (unsure) Did I...say I was not whole?
Stig: You did.
(silence)
Nihilus: I can't remember.
Stig: Yes. You need to stay with us.
Nihilus: But I remember him. And he betrayed me!
Stig: He betrayed Silon Cain.
Nihilus: (to himself) He betrayed...him? ... Me? ... Us?
Stig: Him.
Nihilus: (determined) No. He betrayed me. And I need to follow him!
(Nihilus walks off)

(during player critique, Atellus is talking about Nihilus)
Atellus: This whole "The Incredible Sulk"-thing really got on my nerves.

(the Acolytes are analyzing some strange kind of machinery outputting navigational data)

Nostromo: There are...are parts where...time passes more quickly than others.
Stig: Yes, yes.
Nostromo: This it these places.
Stig: Excellent!
Stig: Can you tell which ones are in the future?
Nostromo: Nostromo cannot say.
Stig: Alright, then this is rubbish.
Stig: Although it's very useful rubbish.

(Stig has removed the vial filled with the creatures from the green lake from the machine that was activated by them, but it stays active)
Stig: Just as I thought. The creatures need to die off.
Stig: Probably within a few years from now...
Stig: Or days...
Stig: Minutes...
Stig: Or...sometime - it doesn't really matter here anyway!

(the strange vox has reactivated - Atellus is holding it to his ear)
Atellus: The signal's slightly getting better...but I still think it's something about a crane.

(Stig has just given the remaining two Psychneuein inoculations to Atellus and Nihilus)
Stig: Are you feeling anything?
Atellus: Slight headache.
Stig: Oh yes, it's a slight headache.
Stig: Gonna get a lot worse.
Stig: Probably...

(Stig wants Nihilus to hold a talisman in his hand)
Nihilus: Why?
Stig: I've got my reasons.
(silence)
Nihilus: Boss? Why?
Atellus: I don't know...if he says he's got his reasons he probably does.
Nihilus: So the next time he says he has a reason to throw someone off a wall you will not complain?

(the Acolytes are standing on a walkway over a bottomless pit - with no rails on either side - when Nihilus snaps back from Silon to himself, standing at the edge of the walkway)
Nihilus: Damn useless- WHAT THE HELL?
Stig: Watch your step.
Stig: Please.

(shortly after)
Stig: Could you please give me the thing I gave you? It's really important to me...
Nihilus: Sorry...must've dropped it...
Stig: It is really important to me...
Nihilus: Sweet?

(still shortly thereafter, discussing the situation)
Nihilus: Well...where are we?
Stig: Yes, exactly.
(a beat)
Nihilus: What?!

(contemplating alternatives to just leaping into the bottomless pit)
Stig: Remember that nice planet with the party?
Nihilus: What?
Stig: That nice planet with the party.
Nihilus: Does my head look normal?
Stig: Your head looks fine from the outside...
Nihilus: My head is fine!
(a beat)
Stig: So...do you both remember the planet with the party?
Atellus: With the cotton candy?
Stig: Yes of course. That one.
Nihilus: Oh...oh! Was it the one with the guy that gave us tasty things? Who we killed?
Stig: Yes.
Nihilus: I remember!
Stig: Yes!
Stig: At some point, we were really in a hurry. And we flew.
Nihilus: Yes. That was terribly uncomfortable.
Stig: That was terribly uncomfortable. And I can at most take two people and the Inspector can take one.
Stig: Also it's a bit dangerous down here.
(silence, as everyone realizes what he's proposing)

(Makrade's body was just left and killed by some dark warpish thing in front of the Acolyte's eyes)
Stig: Well. That at least solves one problem...
Atellus: Which......?
Stig: The one person too many (referring to his flying plan).

RP06, M05
(a little later, same discussion)
Atellus: And...what was that thing coming out of him?
Stig: Uh...it was...the darkness...another warp predator that found his way into his mind and moved him along like a puppet.
Atellus: Well, the darkness seems to be rather dull.
Stig: How so? I think it was bored.
Atellus: I would've expected something more sinister.

(still a little later)
Stig: So, at least we know that going to the darkness is a really bad idea.
Atellus: We knew that already?
Nihilus: Whoever said otherwise?
Atellus: Makrade.
Atellus: Oh, I'm sorry - "Makrade" (airquotes).

(discussing Stig's idea of him and The Inspector growing wings and flying all of them down there)
Stig: I'm still a big fan of my solution. Now that the second main problem is out of the way.
Atellus: Yeah, but I still don't like the first main problem.
Nihilus: What's the first main problem?
Stig: It's terribly unsafe.
Nihilus: Wait...the first main problem of the idea jumping down there?
Nihilus: The first main problem of the idea to jump down there is the idea to jump down there.
Stig: Yes, the idea to jump down there is even more terribly unsafe. That's why I'm a fan of my solution.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Still terrible.

(discussing what to do)
Atellus: Well...the other alternative would be to just jump down there.
Stig: Aaand you think that's less dangerous?
Atellus: First of all, the obviously-evil thing didn't want us to do it. So it must be good.

(still discussing jumping down)
Stig: That means it could very well be enough to just take it (the key), jump down there and be in a place we really don't want to be.
Stig: Also...here's also a place we really don't want to be.
Nihilus (Silon): Yeah...but if you try a key in a lock, most locks don't have the effect of making you an unpleaseant stain on the ground.
Stig: Most doors don't look like this.
Nihilus (Silon): Point well taken.

(after attempting to use the node communication device thingy again)
Stig: Awakening the machine spirit did obviously not move the node onto line.
Stig: So that's not helping.
Nihilus (Silon): (sighs) It's a metaphor! It has nothing to do with things being on a physical line!
Stig: It don't?
Nihilus (Silon): No!
Nihilus (Silon): Oh dear.
Stig: So, what does it mean then? I always though it was some...see, most machine spirits like these lines with cables on the ground, and I was just supposing that the line was not correctly aligned to the device so the machine spirit was kind of angry and refused to work.
(a good ten seconds of silence)
Nihilus (Silon): Door (pointing towards the pit).

(the Acolytes are actually following up on Stig's plan of growing wings and flying down)
Nihilus (Silon): We have flying versus jumping with flying having the obvious advantage that we can get up again if it turns out to be a really bad idea.
Stig: And the obvious disadvantage that the warp could explode.
Stig: Although that's a really slim chance.
Nihilus (Silon): I think that's a risk you ought to take. We'll just be waiting in some distance.
Stig: (to himself) Yes, I think I'd much rather have silver.

(shortly after)
Stig: Alright, then let's get to work.
(Atellus and Nihilus start running outside of the chamber)

(Stig and The Inspector have just grown in size and also gained shimmering insect wings)
Lanus: Oh boy, this is creepy. Stig: No, it's not!
Lanus: Yes, it is. Trust me, it is.
Stig: Why would it be creepy?
Nihilus (Silon): Well, anyway.
Nihilus (Silon): (to Lanus) Take the skunk.
(Nihilus heads over to Stig)

(the Acolytes are about to jump / fly)
Stig: And then, on three, we jump.
Atellus: No! No no no! You and the Quatag jump!
Stig: Yes, of course.
Nihilus (Silon): I think that's what he was implying.
Stig: One.
Stig: Two.
(the real Nihilus comes back)
Nihilus: Wait, wha- again on the gantry?!
Stig: And three.
(they jump)
Nihilus: AAAAAHHHHHH!
Nihilus: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Nihilus: WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!

(on the way down)
Nihilus: Why did you do this?
Stig: (whispering) To get down.
Nihilus: I apologized for the rocket launcher! Stop doing it!
(some seconds pass)
Nihilus: And what happened with Makrade? He had a thing in his face!
Stig: Oh yeah...he's dead.
Nihilus: Huh.
(more seconds pass)
Nihilus: Well...suppose there is a ground...how would we see it coming?
Stig: We're not really fast. If we hit it, I'll just feel it beneath my feet.
Nihilus: Okay.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Suppose there's something else in here. How would we see that coming?
Stig: We don't.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Why are we doing this?
Lanus: This seems like an exceedingly bad plan.
Nihilus: What he said.
Atellus: So be very quiet, so maybe we can hear it.
Stig: And it can't hear us.
(Nihilus turns to Lanus, making a shushing noise)

(the Acolytes have arrived inside the Blind Tesseract, standing in a huge vaulted chamber while Stig is investigating a strange, semi-humanoid statue with a puddle of water in front of it)

Stig: (standing up, point at the statue) I don't know you.
Nihilus: It took you ten minutes to figure that out?
Stig: Yes. See, if you know a lot you have to take your time to go through what you know.
(a beat)
Nihilus: I've never seen Lanus do it...

(the Acolytes are still trying to figure out what the statue is)
Atellus: How big is the statue?
GM: You'd say slightly larger than your average human.
Atellus: Oh. OH.
Atellus: I was imagining seven or eight metres.
Atellus: We are playing Warhammer 40k.

(still discussing the statue)
Stig: As you have probably read my notes-
Atellus: (slightly annoyed) You didn't give them to me.
Stig: Right. I still didn't give them to you...

(Stig has a theory about the machinery)
Stig: So, anyway, this is a lifeboat.
Atellus: A what?
Stig: A lifeboat.
Atellus: How-
Stig: All of this.
Atellus: Oh. Okay.
(a beat)
Atellus: (looking at the bowl of water) So we should...get the water out of the boat?
Stig: No. Cause it's not water. I think
Nihilus: Looks waterish to me...

(after a little more "investigation")
Stig: Do you know what I told you about the statue?
Stig: That sometimes a statue is just a statue?
Atellus: Yes?
Stig: This statue is not a statue.
Stig: However, the water's probably just water.

(Stig has identified the statue as a vessel for a single soul)
Atellus: Is there a soul inside the vessel?
Stig: Very intelligent question! Yes, there is.
Nihilus: So we blow it up?
Stig: (exasperated) Why would we?
Nihilus: Well, the last thingy bound in a thingy was a demon.
Stig: Well, the last thingy bound in a thingy was a navigator.
Nihilus: Should've probably blown him up too.
Stig: You can't just blow up what you don't like!
Nihilus: (looking intently at Stig) Sometimes, that is unfortunately correct.

(a little later)
Stig: Somebody put it there. Excellent.
Stig: So.
Stig: Why put someone's soul in a statue?
Nihilus: Because they had nothing else to do with this room?

(Nihilus has just reverted to Silon Cain again)
Nihilus: Interesting kind of place. Is anyone familiar with the pictographs around here?
Lanus: He's behaving strange...
Stig: No, he's not...

(the Acolytes are contemplating how to wake up the statue)
Stig: Well, the pretty sure way would be to try to destroy the statue.
(a beat)
Stig: It would probably defend itself and wake up in the process, though-
Atellus: (interrupting him) Do you have another idea?
Stig: Yeah, after I had that idea I quickly devised another one.
Stig: So no one (looking intently at Nihilus) would get the idea of trying the first one.
Stig: Well, the second one would be: (to Atellus) have you tried to touch that water?
Atellus: No, I'm very afraid.

(Stig is trying to talk Atellus into touching the water)
Atellus: Why don't you touch it?
Stig: I can. Though if I do and concentrate on the water I cannot see if the creature wakes up?
Atellus: What if I first touch you with The Indicator Device?
Stig: Well...how would you react if something that is basically the extension of your mind was touched with a banana?

(still talking about waking up the creature)
Stig: So, I say the most dangerous way of proceeding is to make contact with the creature.
Stig: So we should do that.
(a beat)
Atellus: Why?
Stig: Because it is...oh! Brilliantly!
(everyone's looking at Stig)
Stig: I just thought of something completely different.


(the Acolyes are in the process of trying to wake up the statue)
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain) Would someone please tell me in concise words what exactly is it you're talking about that you obviously did not find out while you did not arrive earlier than me?
(no one says anything)
Nihilus: Pretty please?

(the first mirror door has opened, Stig and Nihilus have already gone through; Lanus is very hesitant, though)
Atellus: Hey, did you see that? (pointing towards the door)
Lanus: What?
(Atellus pushes him in)

(after passing the first mirror door and using a familiar elevator, the Acolytes - once again looking pretty much torn up and armed to the teeth - are deposited in the middle of the Carnival of Tattered Fates on Quaddis)
Lanus: What is going on?
(Stig starts doing pantomimes)
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain, dead serious) I have no clue. But it can't be good.
Lanus: What is this? Why are we in a carnival? How did we get here?
Lanus: (pointing at Stig) And what's he doing?
(Atellus reaches out to shake this hand - and mimes getting zapped as soon as they touch)

(the Acolytes are contemplating going to Fate's Wheel - and are assuming that their alter egos have just finished their sleeping powder attack there)
Stig: Actually...book guy?
Lanus: Yes?
Stig: Could you try to find if that casino's closed?
Lanus: Aaand how should I do that?
Stig: Oh well...go in there...see if there's anyone murdered...
Lanus: Let me rephrase that, what do you need me to- murdered?! Why would there be anyone murdered? Any why would you know that?
Nihilus: Because we killed them.
Lanus: Weren't you with me the whole time?
Stig: It's complicated.

(Atellus has just conned a helpless citizen out of his invitation to the Grand Estate of Erasmus Haarlock)
Atellus: (returning to the rest of the group, waving the envelope) Lookie lookie what I found.
Stig: What did he take from you?
Atellus: Um...
Atellus: Wrong question.
Stig: What did you take from him?
Atellus: (sing-sang) It's an invitation.
Atellus: (dead serious) Also, it could be a bomb.
(Stig grabs the envelope and rips it open)

(Nihilus suddenly remembers something)
Nihilus: Wasn't there something about the future?
Stig: Yes, he wants to change his past to-
Nihilus: No, no, no.
Stig: What do you mean?
Nihilus: Like...in this...office-y thingy.
Stig: Yeah, "We Are The Future".
Nihilus: Yes, and there was something else.
Nihilus: I think it was "All Shall Be Returned".
Stig: All Shall Be Returned. Right! Thank you.
Nihilus: Well, when we went to this Gabriel Chases'...thing...
(Stig gets an idea)
Stig: (exited) All Shall Be Returned to him! Yes! Because it was his! You're brilliant!
Nihilus: (to Atellus) What did I do?
Atellus: I have no idea.
Nihilus: Well...but...I wanted to say...that obviously this house was returned to him.
Stig: (even more exited) Yes!
Stig: We Are The Future! All Shall Be Returned!
Atellus: (unimpressed) Who is the future?
Stig: The Haarlocks! They're literally the future?
Atellus: What?!
Stig: Literally!
Atellus: (getting exasperated) You're losing me every other sentence!

(Stig explains his theory)
Stig: Okay.
Stig: Say, you're a madman.
Stig: And you want...everything with your life.
Stig: Which has sadly gone down the drain. With the rain.
Stig: Cause I don't like rain.
Atellus: (dry) Okay.
Stig: And you just have this...this very idea...you fixate on it...everything else doesn't really matter.
Stig: Because you want to Reach. Slash. Create. A certain former glory.
Stig: Okay? Perhaps even more.
Stig: So, You go to a forbidden place...and you find a cooking recipe.
Stig: And it turns out, the cooking recipe is actually able to make a soufflé.
Atellus: You're losing me again...
Stig: I'm sorry. Forget about the soufflé.
Stig: So, you go to that pavillion, walk your very path, which happens to lead through different places - through different times.
Stig: But!
Stig: You manipulate the path before you enter it. You remember the statue - the talking statue, it had stains because he made the clocks turn.
Stig: Something that had never happened before.
Stig: So he manipulates his path, goes through I-don't-know-where-he-goes, and creates this future of his by-
Stig: I have no idea how the Star Fissure plays into this, but we will see soon enough.
Stig: And our path now intersects with the future he would have created if he succeeded with his path.
Stig: Which he obviously will have if our path does not intersect with his in some other way.
(a beat)
Atellus: (confused) But I thought we weren't supposed to manipulate those timelines.
Stig: No.

(the Acolytes are discussing how to smuggle themselves into the Grand Estate of Erasmus Haarlock)
Stig: Well, I can get though the wall, this is not the problem. You can't.
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain) This is a city. With lots of people living in it.
Stig: Yes, so?
Nihilus: Lots of people. Making a lot of waste. Which has to go somewhere.
(a beat as Stig gets it)
Stig: I'd rather go through the wall...
Nihilus: Infiltration is not really your forté, is it?

(Nihilus - as Silon Cain - has been nagging about another one of Stig's plans)
Stig: What are you trying to say?
Nihilus: Just that I sometimes have the feeling you're full of crap.
Nihilus: Then again, sometimes I have the feeling you're really brilliant.
Nihilus: I can't really make up my mind about that.
Stig: Well, settle on brilliant crap then.

(the Acolytes are in the process of sneaking into the Grand Estate of Erasmus Haarlock and are almost in)
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain, to Stig) Stay.
Stig: What? Why?
Nihilus: You suck at infiltrating.

(in the sewers, Nihilus reverts to himself again)
Nihilus: Why am I in the sewers?
Stig: (relieved) Thank you.
Nihilus: No. Why?

(they have finally arrived at the party - and Stig is wearing a (stolen) chicken costume)
Stig: (walking up to the first guest he sees, cheerfully raising his wing) Ga-gah!
Stig: A very fine good evening!
Guest: Good evening, mist-...yeah, good evening.
Guest: Uh...can I help you?
Stig: My name is C. Hicken.
(cannot be put into words) - MP3 (255 KB)

(a servitor comes around, offering the acolytes a drink)
Stig: (taking a drink) Thank you so much!
Stig: (under his breath) I hate servitors.
(he throws the drink away)

(the acolytes are mingling at the party - undercover, of course)
Atellus: So, we still need to get into the secret room.
Stig: I'm actually a bit torn between saving this buddy of Silver from being murdered and going to that secret room...
Severus Alaric: (noticeably drunk and almost screaming) ATELLUS RAVION? Is that you again?
Severus Alaric: How did you get here?
Atellus: It's a long story.
Severus Alaric: Thought you got killed with...the whole...like...the rest of the ninety percent of the city...last time.
Atellus: (acting cheerful) Likewise.
Severus Alaric: Yeah well...lucky I got out...in time.
Severus Alaric: Well...to be honest I...didn't even get in.
Severus Alaric: So, you're actually doing this aga-...well, I guess I'm actually doing this again.
Severus Alaric: So, what did you do in the meantime?
Atellus: Well...so much to tell and I've so little time right now...

(still during the awkward conversation with Severus Alaric)
Severus Alaric: Where's that other friend of yours? That you had last time? And who's that guy?
Stig: (in his proudest possible voice) I am C. Hicken!
Severus Alaric: No I didn't mean you. I mean the...Ork guy.
Atellus: He's my...personal attendant.
Lanus: I'm sorry?!
Lanus: I mean I'm fine with helping you out, but I'm not your personal attendant!
Atellus: (without looking at him) With an odd sense of humour.

(the same conversation)
Severus Alaric: Well, again, what have you been doing in the meantime?
Atellus: Well...do you know Sinophia?
Severus Alaric: (happy he's finally getting a reply) Yeah, I do.
Atellus: I went there. Horrible place!
Severus Alaric: Yeah, why would anyone want to go there, right?
Atellus: Well, as it turns out, me travel guide missed the part about the acid rain on the planet.
Atellus: How about that?
Severus Alaric: Really?!
Atellus: I mean, when you leave out that part, it's actually pretty nice.
Severus Alaric: Yeah but, I mean, there's acid EVERYWHERE!
Atellus: Yes! ALL the time!
Severus Alaric: Yes!
Severus Alaric: (referring to the "travel guide") Did you kill that guy?
Severus Alaric: I mean...you probably should...

(after passing through another mirror door, Stig just realized that they're in Gunmetal City, built inside the crater of an inert volcano)
Stig: Yeah...let's move.

(after a while)
Stig: What's our standing towards inert volcanoes?
Stig: Just out of curiosity.

(after a while of walking through the wasteland that was Gunmetal City)
Stig: (cheerfully) Uh, guys? Did you notice as well? There's no liquid.
Atellus: Why are you happy?
Stig: Well...I'm not really happy.

(Nihilus, being Nihilus and also bored, throws rock pebbles at Stig)
Stig: Thank you!

(Stig has discovered a still intact Speeder Carriage)
Stig: Oh! Look at that!
Nihilus: (gasps) More red sand!
Stig: (scolding) No! I meant the Speeder...thingy.
Nihilus: Oh. I thought it had weapons.
Stig: Well...it could shorten our journey to wherever we want to go by a considerable amount of death.

(Stig is deperately trying to find someone to drive the Speeder)
Atellus: I suppose I could...
Stig: Excellent!
Atellus: Where's the crew?

(none of the Acolytes actually knows how to start the Speeder)
Nihilus: (turning to Atellus) We're gonna die of old age here, aren't we?
Stig: Well...perhaps we have to cheer it on by song.
(long pause)
Atellus: I can sing.
Atellus: But I won't.

(still trying to activate the Speeder)
Atellus: Let me see. Is there any other interactible objects other than buttons?
GM: Yes, there's something that looks like a stick.
(a beat)
GM: Not that Stig.
(laughter)

(Atellus finally manages to start the Speeder Carriage...and promptly bumps into a wall)
Stig: (cheerfully) You're really gettint the hang of this!

(the Acolytes are still en route)
Stig: At least if it was-
Stig: Oh! If it was-
Stig: Who-ho! Oh! OH!
Nihilus: Is it just me or is he getting worse?
Stig: I still have a headache.
Nihilus: Yeah well, who doesn't.

(the Acolytes have just witnessed a very strange disc-like starship raise off the ground)
Stig: So...ships.
Stig: Captain!
Stig: (he snaps his fingers) Lord-Captain!
Stig: Do you recognize this ship class?
(dead silence)
Nihilus: This doesn't deserve an answer.

(meta discussion)
Stig: Immo?
Nihilus: Yes?
Stig: Do you have a Superbowl here?
Nihilus: A what?
Atellus: What?
Stig: A bowl.
Atellus: To put football players in?

(discussing the destruction of Scintilla)
Stig: Now, question for you. Why would you destroy Scintilla?
Nihilus: I didn't destroy Scintilla.
Stig: (exasperated) No one implied that you- no one implied you.
Stig: It was more like "you as a xenos - or possibly xenos - or demonic person".
Nihilus: I'm not a xenos or demonic person!
Stig: I know!
Nihilus: Then why do you ask me?

(Stig isn't dropping this)
Stig: Okay, so, but if you, for some reason-
Nihilus: But I'm not!
Stig: ...would like to do these things, why would you want to do that?
(a pause)
Nihilus: I don't want to do these things!
Atellus: It's hypothetical!
Nihilus: I'm not... ... ...cold?

(after lots of discussion, Atellus, driving the Speeder Carriage, finally accelerates and promptly scrapes another wall)

Stig: That was incredibly fun!
Atellus: It was incredibly dangerous.
Nihilus: I'm incredibly bored.

(Atellus has slowed down again after scraping the wall, Stig argues about it)
Atellus: It created sparks.
Stig: (enthusiastically) Yes!
Atellus: And we're inside the thing that created sparks!
Stig: (enthusiastically) Yes!
Atellus: So, if you were scraped against the wall at this speed, you would also create sparks!
Stig: (enthusiastically) Yes!
Atellus: Of blood and bones.
Stig & Nihilus: (unisono, enthusiastically) Yes!

(the Carriage is stuck inside a wall as Nihilus snaps from himself to Silon Cain)
Nihilus: Why. Am I ass over head in a Carriage that has been run into a wall?
Atellus: (bored) Because you wanted to go fast.

(Nihilus - as Silon Cain - takes the wheel and turns out to actually be a pretty good driver)
Stig: Yes, that's quite like I wanted to do it but...it's...not so easy as it seems.
Nihilus: Yeah, let me tell you a secret about this.
Nihilus: It's not a problem of this car.

(while driving)
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain) Anyway...um...anything important happened while I was...
Nihilus: I don't know what I was but...while I was not processing information that I got?

(Silon Cain has just buried his face in his hands as Nihilus snaps back to himself)
Nihilus: What did Nuts say? Stig: Excellent!
Nihilus: What did Nuts say? What is happening? Where are we?
Stig: Tricorn Palace!
Nihilus: That was fast.
Stig: No it wasn't.
(long pause)
Nihilus: Yes it was. What did Nuts say?

(the Acolytes are still trying to figure out what happened in the hive, and Stig has just thrown another wild theory at Nihilus)
Nihilus: I don't know. He knows tech stuff. And you know Xenos stuff.
Nihilus: Why are you even asking me?!
Stig: Because you're an excellent mirror.
Nihilus: I should make a list. I'm neither possessed nor a mirror.

(a little later)
Stig: Okay, Silver? This is kind of an experiment, but...
Stig: If you're...when you're...if you're possessed again-
(Nihilus turns and walks away)

(a little later, the Acolytes finally draw the connection to the Slaught, recalling their encounter with them on Acreage)

Stig: Oh...I see. We're having two bodypart-consumers.
Stig: Excellent. One for scientific reason and one for lunch.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Maybe heads are delicious...and they...must...eat them.
Nihilus: And bodies are just...less delicious and they...may...eat them?
Stig: I've never tasted brain...but then again I'm not one of these guys who just show up randomly and START MESSING EVERYTHING UP!
Nihilus: Actually, you are one of these guys.

(Stig has just found his future self...which is currently very dead)
Stig: Huh.
Nihilus: Stop that!
Stig: What?
Nihilus: "Huh."
Stig: But this is "Huh."-worthy.
Nihilus: Don't "Huh." - explain things! And so that everyone understands them.
Stig: Would you look at that?
Stig: I mean, this was a "Would-You-Look-At-That-Huh".
Stig: It's me! Obviously I'm dead.
Nihilus: (hopeful) You are?
Nihilus: Why are you still talking?
(Nihilus pokes his head into the vehicle, seeing the second - dead - Stig)
Nihilus: (terrified) There were two of you?

(still inside the turned-over vehicle, Nihilus snaps back to Silon Cain)
Nihilus: (looking at the dead Stig) Firstly, this is a rather disconcerting sight.
Nihilus: Secondly, did you drive again?
Nihilus: I'm just asking because we're standing in a vehicle which is obviously upturned.

(a litte later)
Stig: This is strange.
Nihilus & Atellus: (unisono and universally annoyed) What is?

(after passing through another mirror door, the Acolytes find themselves in another version of the same scene)
Stig: Well it's obviusly a possible future...because I'm pretty sure as long as we're alive we'll try to undoom Scintilla.
Stig: Kind of our job.
Nihilus: And here I though your job was making up words. Like undoom.

(Nihilus ponders climbing a 45-metre high building)
Atellus: That's falloffable.

(sometime later)
Stig: I got a hunch here.
Nihilus: No...your spine looks straight.

(under the Tricorn Palace, the Acolytes have found som guy living in a library vault)
GM: He's actually quite insane.
Stig: That's okay. I can relate.

(Stig is improvising his way through a conversation with the guy they found in the library)
Guy: (confused) Where are you from?
Stig: (cheerfully) Munsk.
Stig: Lovely planet. Especially during the summer period. Else it's a bit rainy.
Guy: (even more confused) But...Munsk was...taken a long time ago...
Stig: What?!
Stig: (to Atellus and Nihilus) Did you hear that?
Nihilus: Yes. I'm full of sadness you weren't on the planet.
Stig: This is outrageous! You can't just-
Nihilus: If someone's looking for me...I'll be over there. Pretending to look at books.

(they're still talking to the guy in the basement)
Stig: Well I can imagine such a bombing does change the climate a bit.
Guy: It did...but...nowadays...sometimes you can even see some stars again.
Stig: Excellent!
Guy: Why is that excellent?
Nihilus: Planning on going stargazing?
Stig: No.
Nihilus: Then how exactly is this helping us?
Stig: Oh, it's not.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Why did I ask?


(still in the same conversation)
Stig: Why are you hiding like a rat in a book fort?
Stig: Why in a book fort? You could've found yourself some wood.
Guy: I'm not really good at building things...and I'm hiding from the harvesters.
Stig: (triumphantly) Ah!
(a beat)
Stig: What now?

(a little later)
Stig: (to the guy) So...take us to the harvesters!
Atellus: Wait. What?
Guy: Nonononono you don't want to go to the harvesters!
Guy: Trust me, you really don't want to go to the harvesters!
Atellus: Are they people or are they things?
Guy: They're...machines. But they...roam around the cities They've taken and collect the bodies of those They missed.
Stig: For lunch.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Yeah, I'm somehow with Insane Guy No. 2 here - we don't want to go to the harvesters.
Nihilus: No offense, Insane Guy No. 1.
Stig: Where was the other one?
(during a discussion about whether or not a piece of text is encrypted or not)
Stig: Well, let's ask the innocent bystander.
Stig: Innocent Bystander, can you read this?

(the piece of text turned out to be encoded)
Stig: Well...okay...it might be encoded.
(a beat)
Stig: However...
Stig: I will prove my point to you...

(another beat)
Stig: At a later time.

(Stig is trying to talk the basement guy into leading them to a group of survivors that kicked him out)
Guy: But I don't know where they are anymore...
Stig: (claps his hands) Right. And that's where your big chance comes in, because we are looking for them as well!
Nihilus: We are now?
(a pause)
Guy: O...kay?
Nihilus: (quietly to himself) Greeeeaaat. Not enough crazy people. Let's look for some more!

(a little later)
Guy: But...I don't even know where to start.
Atellus: And that's where this block of rockcrete comes in.
(a beat)
Guy: This...what?!
Stig: It's a complicated technique.
Stig: Basically, we throw this rock and go where it points.

(Silon Cain has left the Acolytes in the basement and has walked back to the surface on his own...only to snap back to Nihilus)
Nihilus: (uncertain, looks around) Guys?


(still down in the Tricorn's catacombs, Stig, Atellus and The Guy have found something the Enoulian Trouble Detector found beepable)
Stig: (excited) Oh, great!
Stig: I think it's a Haarlock cellar!
Atellus: Oh god.

(a little later)
Atellus: I think it's important...
Stig: Yeah...the Enoulian Trouble Detector beeped-
Nihilus: It's a trouble detector?!


(the Acolytes have found nine more of the strange black crystals as the next mirror door appears)
Atellus: Take the money and run?
Stig: What?
Atellus: Well, we have one thing, there's nine more, I want all of them.
(Stig ponders this for a second)
Stig: Reasonable.
Nihilus: No? Unreasonable?

(Nihilus is standing right next to the mirror door while Stig and Atellus are experimenting with the black crystals and the powder they were stored in)
Nihilus: Are you done playing with sand?
Stig: No?
Stig: You could help!
Nihilus: No. I need to be ready to escape when you all die a horrible death.
(a beat)
Nihilus: A deserved horrible death!

(after passing through another mirror door, the Acolytes find themselves aboard a starship...and they're partly translucent)
Nihilus: (to Stig) You look strange...er.


(the Acolytes have found themselves in tents of a camp in a foreign jungle...and in foreign bodies - Stig decides to take a walk in the jungle)
Expedition Guy 1: Don't get eaten!
Atellus: Or your genes/jeans stolen... (intentionally pronounced somewhere in between)


(in the Jungle)
Stig: Then I do what no hero has done before: I actually take a leak.
Atellus: Well...you're not yourself right now...

(Atellus - not in his own body - is with Stig - also not in his own body -, trying to discreetely find ut whether or not the other guy actally is Stig)
Atellus: I brought some nuts in my backpack and I didn't find them and I was wondering if you have maybe found them?
(a beat)
Stig: You're asking me if I have taken your nuts?!

(a while later)
Atellus: (casually) So, I thought there might be these furry creatures here on the planet. Quatags. Have you heard of them?
Stig: Never heard of them... (he shrugs)
Atellus: (pointedly) Really? I could've sworn you told me about them.
Stig: You must be imagining things.
(awkward silence)

(all of a sudden, while walking through the jungle, Nihilus (Silon Cain until this point) blinks, stretches, looks down, and...)
Nihilus: Where the fuck am I? And who are you?
(a beat)
Nihilus: We were on the stupid Haarlock spaceship. And we were ghosts. Now why are we here?
Wynn: I beg your pardon sir?
Nihilus: Where's the insane guy and the boss?
Wynn: You're the boss...sir?
Nihilus: What?!

(a minute or so later, Nihilus catches a glimpse of his nametag)
Nihilus: What's that?
Wynn: (unsure) That's your...nametag?
Nihilus: I can't read - but this doesn't look like my name.
Wynn: It is your name. Cain.
Nihilus: I'm NOT SILON CAIN.
Nihilus: Nuts put you up to this, didn't he?

(inside some ruins, the Acolytes have discovered some hole in the wall - Nihilus/Silon has ordered Stig to investigate)
Stig: Sir, there's nothing in there. Nihilus: Interesting. Well, try to put your finger in there anyway.
Stig: Uh...sir?
(a silent beat)
Stig: Okay sir...
(nothing happens for about 10 seconds)
Stig: Can I take my finger out now, sir?

(Stig has just returned after having been teleported to a cave upon putting a gem into the hole in the wall)
Nihilus: Let me first ask you a question which isn't as straightforward as it sounds:
Nihilus: Are you Nuts?
(a beat)
Stig: Well of course I am!

(the acolytes - all of them - want to teleport back to the cave)
Nihilus: Last time you vanished, the gem vanished. There's one gem, there are more people. Do you see the problem?
Stig: Well, uhm, actually-
Nihilus: No explanation. Do you have a solution for this?
Stig: Yes. Do you see this rock?
Nihilus: Okay. Stop right there, apply the solution.

(the acolytes are finally amongst themselves after teleporting into the cave)
Atellus: (to Stig) I hate you!
Stig: Why?
Atellus: Why didn't you say so?
Stig: Well...you could've been anyone...
Atellus: I spend that whole day dropping hints!
Atellus: About flying through a spaceship like a ghost, about quatags, about Nuts!
Atellus: WHY DIDN'T YOU REACT?

(Stig asked Nihilus, currently Silon about the black power sword)
Stig: Do you know how it works?
Nihilus: Well, it channels warp energy. How exactly it does that - I have absolutely no idea and I really don't care.
Stig: Right. The first smart thing you said! So-
(a beat)
Stig: Well, no, the don't care part wasn't.

(discussing where - or rather when - they are)
Nihilus: This is not a further view into his past and his motivations than what we had before we came here.
Nihilus: Because when I was hired by Haarlock his wife and daughter were already dead.
(a beat)
Stig: This is excellent!
Nihilus: I think he would disagree.

(the acolytes have arrived at an underground portal protected by a powerful forcefield, attempting to figure out a way to get through)
Stig: The other possibility would be - no, actually, no.
Nihilus: (as Silon) Glad we talked about that.

(talking about the bodies they are inhabiting)
Stig: I don't know. He seems like a pretty nice guy (referring to the body he's inhabiting).
Atellus: How would you know?
Stig: Look at that face! (pointing to his face)
(a beat)
Nihilus: I'm actively trying not to.
(another beat)
Stig: Wait - what's with my face?

(the acolytes are still trying to get past the forcefield)
Stig: (suddenly, in a much louder voice towards the forcefield) So - why won't you let us in?
Atellus: Have you tried knocking?
(Stig knocks the stone wall next to the forcefield)
Nihilus: Did you just try to talk to an ancient piece of alien technology?
Stig: Well...yes?
Stig: It works pretty well for you usually...

(Nihilus - as Silon - just remembered some piece of machinery that would fit into a lock beside the forcefield)
Nihilus: (via vox) Have you seen some kind of...gear lying around?
Stig: Gear?
Atellus: Gear?
Nihilus: Yes.
Stig: Like a cog?
Nihilus: Yes.
Stig: No.
Stig: I would've noticed that.
Stig: Because that usually means we're in a Haarlock cellar.

(still on the same topic)
Nihilus: I think it's some kind of gear-looking device with some scripture on it.
Nihilus: I vaguely remember something like that.
Stig: So you remember it. Could you please remember where it is?
(a pause)
Nihilus: (dripping sarcasm) Yes, of course.
Nihilus: Silly of me to have asked you.

(the acolytes have gone back to the surface and discovered that their camp has been moved)
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain) Um...when exactly did you move the camp here?

Wynn: Couple of days ago?
(a beat)

Nihilus: Aw goddamnit.
Nihilus: How long were we gone?
Wynn: I think it was...nine days or something...
Nihilus: Great.
Nihilus: (to the other acolytes) Okay, it's not just an ancient teleportation device. It's an ancient teleportation device that screws up time.
(a beat)
Wynn: Mind if we stay out here?
Nihilus: (resigned) No, not at all.
Nihilus: (to himself) Great. Nine days. Why not.
Stig: That's very reasonable.
Nihilus: Shut up.

(after traversing an underground river, using three of the most complicated schemes possible)
Atellus: Well, okay, so...that worked.
Stig: Well yes - it's kind of an enjoyable sensation hanging upside down, isn't it?
Atellus: It's horrendous.

(walking on)
Stig: Okay, I can work with you not liking me.
Stig: Or at least pretending to...
Stig: But what about The Inspector?
Nihilus: (as Silon Cain) It's a skunk!
Stig: (offended) No!
Stig: It's The Inspector...

(the Acolytes are stunned by a gigantic tower in the center of a large underground city they just discovered)
Stig: Pretty magnificent.
(a beat)
Nihilus: I wonder how it looks when you blow it up...
Stig: Why would you do that? And what for?
Nihilus: Curiosity!
Nihilus: Fun!
Stig: I don't even think you could blow it up.
Nihilus: Well then there's no harm in me trying, right?
Stig & Atellus: Yes, there is.
Stig: Don't damage my future property.
(a beat)
Atellus: Why is...this your future property?
Stig: Well, it's pretty?

(a moment later)
Stig: You know what's most interesting about this place?
Atellus: The tower.
Stig: No! Why would you say that?!
Atellus: Because it's the largest building. And-
Nihilus: Nothing!
Stig: Right! You are absolutely right!
(Atellus turns and starts walking towards the tower, leaving the two of them behind)

(Nihilus - as himself again - has walked ahead of the others to the tower)
Nihilus: (turning around, shouting down a main street of this ghost town) BOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIING!

(in the top of the tower, the Acolytes have found a giant black crystal, creating and / or plugging a hole in realspace)
Atellus: So...at least we know where we're getting black crystal from in case we're still looking for some...
(a long pause)
Stig: Uhm...could you try not to throw our black crystals at that crystal?
Stig: I wouldn't want that to disappear...

(Nihilus is Silon Cain again, while Atellus wants Nihilus back)
Atellus: Nihilus.
Atellus: Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus!
Atellus: Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus! Nihilus!
(he goes on for a couple of minutes)

Nihilus: (as Silon Cain) Are you done yet?
Atellus: No.
Atellus: Unless you're Nihilus.

(Atellus and Stig are "negotiating" with Silon over Nihilus' body)
Nihilus: We'll blow up this bridge when we come to it.

(Stig just returned from an excursion into an inaccessible room inside the tower)
Stig: Ah yes, well, when I got into the other room where there was this strange blinking cylindre and something attacking my incorporeal form, there were big tubes.
Stig: And, as I usually do when there are big tubes, I stuck my little finger in it.

(discussing the city they're in)
Nihilus: So...a city inside a Gellar Field...that is powered by the warp...
Nihilus: Seems like a rather impossible technological feat. Though I'm not expert on that.
Stig: Yes!
Nihilus: That the feat is impossible or that I'm not expert?
Stig: Both!

(the Acolytes have found a huge three-dimensional CAVE-like observatorium that can be set to view any point in the sector...and Stig's at the wheel when Nihilus reverts to himself)
Stig: Very interesing...very interesting...
Stig: Excuse me, hold on...
(Stig flies the observatorium to another planet)
Nihilus: WHOA! I'm in space!
Nihilus: Why I'm I in spa- why...why can I breathe?

Session 4, Part 4, Marker 05 is the next

(Stig is still "flying")
Stig: Okay, so, as much fun as this is - does anybody have any other valuable information we can extract from this?
Nihilus: What valuable information? I thought this was for fun?

(in the Map room adjacent to the tower, the Acolytes have found a map describing eight more identical cities)
Stig: Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Nihilus: No. Really?

(the Acolytes have just passed through another mirror door, finding themselves in Atellus' personal quarters)
GM: What do you do?
Stig: I preemptively say "huh."

(shortly after arriving - again in foreign bodies)
Nihilus: (to Stig's alter ego) Are you Nuts?
(Stig just looks at him silently)
Atellus: (tired) Let's not go over this again...

(Atellus is looking at a strange device he found in a safe in his quarters)
Atellus: So, what do I do with this?
Stig: It's probably a bomb.
Stig: Although my initial suspicion that this is a bomb made way more sense before I knew you were Lord Captain.

(the Acolytes are still trying to figure out what's going on)
Stig: Also, what's very interesting - and actually I think I do like - because it's not just...
Stig: I don't know the English word for "Friede Freude Eierkuchen"...
Stig: ...peace, happiness and eggcake.
Nihilus: You could've jusz said pancakes.

(the Acolytes have found themselves on a spaceship under attack...and are assuming that the stange device Atellus found is the ship's Master Control Key)
Nihilus: So, the worst possible place for a control key when under attack is everywhere but on the bridge.
Atellus: So, let's take it to the bridge. (the aftermath) - MP3 (810 KB)