Julia Strophes: How did you get here?
Stig: By spaceship.
Nihilus: Idiot. That was a retortic question.
Stig: And you should tell your cleaning staff to refrain from cleaning this staff.
Stig: It's moody.
Stig: How about we name it after a principle that has kept us alive so far.
Nihilus: "Stupid Luck"?
Stig: No. Something like "The Saféty of Light (the Emperor's Light, that is)".
Stig: Do you remember what I said about mutants?
Atellus: Yes.
Stig: Scratch that. It was him. (pointing at the body) While he was dead. Which is very impolite of him.
Stig: Can I take the Quatag down, or does he have to wall walk?
Atellus and Nihilus (unisono): Just throw him.
Nihilus: Great minds ...
(at a murder investigation)
Atellus: What about talking to people?
Stig: Oh! Right! I'll do that!
GM (slightly alarmed):
Did he just say "I'll do that"?(the strange device displays "No node in range or offline.")
Stig: It said "No node in range or in... line."
Stig: So, question is: why isn't. There.
(a little bit later)
Stig: Perhaps...
Perhaps we can just push the node onto the line!
(discussing doing an unpredictable space-slip into a room without a floor)
Atellus:
(referring to a Stig growing wings) Maybe you should grow a pair before going in.
(Stig tries to space-slip through a wall, but instead just ends up right before the wall)
Stig: Okay okay okay, let me try this again.
I step back one metre.
Atellus:
(sarcastic) But you already got this far!
(Stig is inside an airless room containing strange machinery nobody knows anything about, arguing with himself whether or not Nihilus should push a button that might turn it on)
Stig:
(over a vox link, to himself) No. No, you're not gonna push the button. No.
Stig: I was contemplating but No.
(pause)
Stig: On the other hand there is this-
Atellus and Nihilus (unisono): No!
GM:
There is just what?
Atellus:
There is just No.(Stig is back from the airless room and showing picts to Atellus)
Stig: Oh, this was fun, I nearly fell off the walkway there.
(after discussing his life-threatening exploration of the underground chambers)
Stig: So, conclusion is...
(dramatic pause)
Stig: ...these Haarlock guys
really couldn't build a normal cellar.
Stig: And you see - it's not just tech stuff. It's some...really really old complicated tech stuff which makes pretty...lights.
(the group is showing a tech-priest into the super-secret archaeotech room they discovered)
Stig:
(about the ancient machinery) They uhm...make pretty lights.
Tech-Priest: They do
what?
Stig: They make pretty lights. These...machine thingys. Blinking.
Tech-Priest: I see.
(he turns to Atellus) What do they do?
(talking to Fihad Constantine, a senior Arbites, about technologically augmented victims)
Fihad Constantine: ...using augmentations and psychoactive chemicals. I don't know, I -
Stig: Right. Could you show me on the doll where those augmentations were installed?
Fihad Constantine: The doll?
Stig: The corpse, I'm sorry.
(Stig has discovered a secret tunnel after slipping through a wall and is investigating)
Nihilus:
(via vox) Won't-tell-us-his-name - are you dead?
Stig:
(via vox) Oh, this is interesting.
Nihilus: Damn.
(shortly thereafter, via vox)
Atellus: No seriously, where are you?
Stig: Uhm...do you know when you come through the door of the morgue and then turn right, yes?
Atellus: Yes.
Stig: Do that please.
Atellus: Yes.
Stig: And...walk on.
Atellus: Yes, there is a wall there.
Stig: Yes, and now go through that wall.
Atellus:
No.
Stig: But that's where I am!
Nihilus: (hopeful) I can help you with that, please stay directly behind the wall.
(upon discovering a secret door in the wall of a Haarlock building's cellar leading to a secret tunnel)
Atellus: Oh Haarlock, how very cliché of you.
(upon discovering a bunch of undead guys in those tunnels and fighting them)
Stig: I think we just hit gold.
Nihilus: I think
I hit a corpse.
Nihilus: I'm sure if someone would fire a weapon in this room it would make a strange echo.
(a beat)
Nihilus: Boring...oring...oring...oring.
(in the sewers - which are filled with acidic waste)
Nihilus: The one bright side of being down here is...if we can't solve a problem we can probably dissolve a problem.
(testing how deep the waste inside the sewers is)
GM:
About ankle-deep.
Nihilus: Well...at least we can't say we're neck-deep in shit.
(the acolytes have just found an elevator leading from the secret tunnels into the sewers)
Stig:
Okay, is there any way to call it back that I see?
GM:
No discernible one, no.
Stig:
Oh great.
(...)
Stig: Okay, there is no discernible way to call it down.
Atellus: That is interesting...
(a beat)
Atellus:
Oh my god the call is coming from inside the house!
Stig:
(at the same time, dramatic voice) Someone must have opened it from the inside!
(in the sewers again, where the acidic waste just rose to hip-height and retreated again)
Stig: Okay what was that?
Nihilus: The reason why it was a horrible idea to come into the sewers in the first place.
Atellus:
That was our cue to get out of here.
Stig: No no no no no - why?
Atellus: Because I don't want to die
in shit.
(looking at an upward tunnel artificially created)
Nihilus: I think that was my good friend Mr. Melta.
Atellus:
(to Stig) So, you were wrong.
Stig: Yes. I were wrong.
Atellus: Well, the ship was moved by a guy who's name the Organizing Guy doesn't know, so probably Fake Infiltrating Guy had positioned the ship just right to be opened up from under it.
Nihilus: Oh so, we know how and who ordered this ship moved but...actually we don't.
Nihilus: How is that
any good?
(Stig is standing on the roof (!) of a sewer entrance hut (!) and has already manifested the Call Creatures psychic power once, but isn't happy with the result and keeps on invocating)
Stig: I need
more!
More creatures!(shortly after)
Atellus: No seriously, I have no idea how the zombies fit in, how the rogue mechanicum fits in...
Nihilus: Additionally - how the hell does the guy fit in that's standing on the roof of the sewer hut and screaming
'I need more rats! MORE!'?Stig: I have an idea. And it's gonna be dangerous.
Atellus: Then keep it to yourself.
Stig:
Excellent that you agree with me!
GM:
Welcome to District 8, where there's heavy rain and (slightly unintelligible) no noble buildings.
(long pause)
Atellus:
No...buildings?
GM:
No noble
buildings.
Atellus:
Ah!
Nihilus:
That would've been so cool. (makes the sound of an opening dropship door) (long pause) District 9 please!(the Acolytes have just witnessed a group of enforcers shooting down a group of, presumably, Undertow members and leave)
Stig:
I walk to the last dead guy.
Stig: Hey uhm, if you're about the resurrect as a zombie could you please first answer -
Atellus:
While he talks I slap him.
Stig: What was that for?
Atellus: Think about it.
Stig:
(to the dead guy again) I add "please".(shortly after, at the same scene)
Stig: Something tells me that this is
totally the wrong area to get to know the undertow.
Atellus: You think?
Stig: Well, if they're not gonna be resurrected at least. Because they
seem to be shot down here.
(entering a bar filled exclusively with badass criminals)
Stig:
I smile.
Stig:
At some point I wave.
(people are drawing weapons on him)
Stig:
I make a mental note not to wave.(Atellus is talking to a table of badass criminals having a Laspistol pointed at his head)
Badass Criminal #1: What?
Atellus:
(in his best bad-ass voice) I'll get right to the point. I need information. I'm willing to pay for it.
Atellus: If you try any funny stuff...
(a beat)
Atellus: Don't try any funny stuff.
(entering another bar about 15 minutes after the last one)
Stig:
I smile.
Stig:
At some point I wave.(in the same bar, after ordering some drinks)
Stig: I'm paying!
Stig:
And...I'm paying.
Annoyed Badass Barkeeper: Oh. Good for you.
(offering a fake family heirloom to some badass guys in the second bar)
Atellus: Five thousand's the offer.
Atellus:
(thinking) I should've said five big or something.
Badass Criminal #2: Our buyer's gonna need to see this before he pays five big for it.
(after Nihilus has made a fake double-crossing attempt to double-cross the fake sellers the Acolytes are impersonating)
Nihilus:
I pull out a bonbon, put it down on the table in front of them (a bunch of badass criminals) and leave the bar.
GM:
(rolls a lot of dice) You get out alive. This time.
Atellus:
You didn't even leave a bonbon for everyone?
Nihilus:
No.(the Acolytes are discussing their newest scheme and coming up with a Needlessly Complicated Plan™)
Nihilus: There's a probably in there.
Stig: Yes.
Nihilus: I hate probablies.
Stig: Just target the sewers or something.
Nihilus: I hate the sewers even more than probablies.
Stig: Then get out on foot.
Atellus: But getting out through the sewers would be kind of ironic.
Nihilus: I hate metal stuff.
(Stig has just requested a random box from the Arbites)
Stig: I name it Bolly.
GM:
You name it what?!
Stig: I name it Bolly.
Stig: It's now Bolly the Box.
(the Acolytes have been planning their elaborate sting operation for hours and are meeting their contact, Lussk, for step 1 of their plan in an abandoned fish-gutting plant for the first time)
Lussk:
(first words) Well...I have to leave you guys one thing...you certainly must be the
absolutely worst undercover guys I have ever seen in my live.
Nihilus:
I second this so much.(after he has proven to the Acolytes that he knows a lot about their activities in the city)
Lussk: Well, now that we have that out of the way - what's in that box of yours.
Stig: It's called Bolly.
Atellus: Please let me do the talking.
Atellus: Well...since...you actually got that part with the undercover agents right...um...
Atellus: Well, we didn't really get our hands on some jewellery, so...I don't actually know.
Atellus:
I open the box and see what we put in there.
(he finds an obsidian-colored, palm-sized disc)
Atellus:
Okay, so I take the disc out. Knowing that guns are pointed at me I won't throw it to him jokingly, but I just show it to him and say:
Atellus:
(dead serious) 5000 thrones.
Stig:
(in a low voice, to Atellus) Was that the price we agreed on?
Atellus:
(in a low voice, to Stig) I think so...it's not the
item we agreed on...
Stig: But it's the price. Okay. Alright.
Atellus: There isn't actually an item.
Atellus:
(to Lussk) By the way, who are you?
Lussk:
What is it?
Atellus: It appears to be a black disc-like...
Stig: I think it's more like a cylinder...if I may correct you...
Lussk: You have no idea what it is, do you?
Atellus: Not in the...directest...of manners...
Lussk:
(sighs)
Atellus: Well, you obviously know that we are the worst undercover agents ever.
Atellus: So - you know that we didn't really put the jewelery that obviously doesn't exist in there so what did you expect?
Atellus: Cleverness?
Nihilus:
I'd like to point out that I'm just a good old psychopath who likes to kill people AND I'M NOT AS INSANE AS THEM!(in a meeting with the Rag Court, the leadership of organized crime in Sinophia Magna)
Atellus: Well, we certainly can come to an understanding I think. We are looking for the bad guys, not the crime lords.
(a bit later)
Atellus: Since you obviously seem to know a lot more about these things than the Arbites do.
Atellus: As they've been busy getting exploded and all.
(Fihad Constantine, the Acolyte's contact at the local Arbites, interrupts Atellus via vox in the middle of their meeting with the undertow)
Fihad:
(after Atellus has briefed him) Oh, did you...put a tech-priest...and an astropath in the cellar?
Atellus: Is there a problem with that?
(silence)
Fihad: No, just checking.
Atellus: Okay great.
(long silence)
Fihad: Constantine out.
(the Acolytes have just entered the chambers of the scared-out-of-his-mind only survivor of an attack of the Risen by breaking his door down)
Stig:
(cheerfully) Hi!
Atellus:
(exhausted) Why do you
always start?
Atellus:
(to Lynan, standing in the broken down door) Mind if I come in?
(theorycrafting standing on top of a cliff inside a Privacy Field)
Stig: Or. perhaps. Something like a witch-mirror. Is needed. To reflect something.
Stig:
(remarks) Nothing new.
Stig: And I don't mean a witch. Although the name could be a bit misleading here.
Stig: Let's be a bit crazy here.
Nihilus:
(mumbling) That shouldn't be too diffcult...
Stig: One especially interesting part is what your particular ladyfriend, the Gilded Widow, said.
Nihilus: I though you were the guy with the particular ladyfriend.
Stig: Mine hasn't talked to me in quite a while.
Atellus: Aw. You seemed so good together!
(Nihilus has gotten fed up with the banter while theorycrafting)
Nihilus:
I put my head outside the isolation bubble.
GM:
Strangely, you cannot head a thing being talked inside.
Nihilus:
Strangely, I enjoy that feeling.Stig: But telepathist or not telepathist - what the Gilded Widow said implied kind of that the Traveller could beee...
Stig:
I wait for the next lightning.
(lightning and huge thunder)
Stig: ERASMUS HAARLOCK.
Nihilus:
I'm very happy that I'm outside the bubble so I don't have to punch him.
Nihilus:
Which I would have done.Stig: So when we have a talk with the Marshal, we should probably tell him something about ponys or something.
(a bored Nihilus tries to figure out what a strange black disc from a Haarlock cellar does)
Nihilus:
I expose the black disc thingy to the rain.
GM:
It's wet.
Nihilus:
I try to scratch the surface.
GM:
You don't make scratches.
Nihilus:
Does it feel hollow from the weight or massive? Or hollow-ish like something massive is inside?
GM:
Hollow-ish.
Nihilus:
Well maybe that's interesting. I put in on the ground and stomp on it.
(the device activates and creates a three metre deep hole right below Nihilus)
(seeing him disappear into the ground, Atellus and the rest approach the hole, seeing that the device which still hovers above the hole shows some kind of a timer)
Atellus: So you can climb, right?
Nihilus: Sure?
Atellus: Do it now.
Atellus: Because the floor is about to reappear.
(climbing out, Nihilus loses the tip of his foot as the floor reappears)
Stig: Right. Did we have anything else to discuss?
Stig: Because I think we have come to the conclusion that we might have a big problem, that we
have a big problem, that we might have an even bigger problem and that we should not tell the Marshal any of this.
(Atellus is giving the "portal gun" Nihilus discovered to Stig)
Atellus: About these things that he picks up, kicks and causes warp phenomena with.
Stig:
(excited) Uh, yes?
Atellus: Here's one of them he gave to me.
Stig: Oh, what does it do?
Atellus:
(takes a breath to start explaining)
Stig: Wait! Let me guess! It...transforms you...into a warp bunny!
Atellus: No.
Nihilus:
(about Atellus not bringing any weapons to the big fight) I mean, I was already a walking weapons shop.
Nihilus: You could've given me something for safekeeping.
(a beat)
Nihilus: As safe as weapons can be when they're attached to me.
(entering the inner part of the Clockwork Court to see the huge fight going on inside)
Atellus:
I vox the pilot of the dropship.
Atellus: This is Atellus Ravion. I need my boltgun RIGHT NOW.
(way more often than statistically possible, when rolling damage)
Nihilus:
Thats X points of damage.
Nihilus:
And let's see if that gets any higher...
Nihilus:
In fact it does.(also way more often than statistically possible, when rolling an attack with his staff)
GM:
You aim. You get encouraged. You have best craftsmanship. He's outnumbered 3 to 1 AND prone lying on the ground!
GM:
Please roll an 82 or less.
Stig:
Ninety-one. I SPEND A FATEPOINT.(Nihilus has just discovered the ransacked office of The Sagacity Eupheme Tassel)
Nihilus:
(via vox, referring to Stig) This looks kind of like Nuts was in here.
Atellus: What do you mean by that?
Nihilus: Everything's messy. And none of it makes sense.
(shortly after)
Atellus:
(via vox) Just get back to the main room and meet me there, I'll have a look.
Nihilus:
(joyfully) Straight back to the main room?
Atellus: No meltas.
(again shortly after)
GM:
The sign on the door proclaims this to be the office of "The Sagacity Eupheme Tassel".
Atellus:
So the sign has been destroyed as well.
GM:
What?
Atellus:
I couldn't make any of what you just said.(Stig has just found a small open box in Eupheme Tassel's office)
Stig: I found Boris!
Atellus: What?!
(he holds up the box)
Stig: Boris the Box!
(Enforcers are storming the Clockwock Court after the Acolytes have defeated all the actual bad guys, Nihilus is in the central hall, Atellus and Stig are in Eupheme Tassel's office)
Nihilus:
(voxing) Boss? We have half a hundred local war clowns just barging in.
(Stig is thinking about intentionally creating some warp disturbances because Atellus told the Enforcers they were there)
Stig:
Actually...do you remember when I said I will not...well, I lied.
Atellus:
What what what?
Nihilus:
He's intentionally invoking psychic phenomena.
Atellus:
Just like I told you to. Good boy!(shortly after, having just manifested the Call Creatures power)
Stig: Alright, this should be crawling with rats or something in a few moments.
Atellus: What?!
Stig: You said we needed warp stuff!
Atellus: I said we needed warp stuff, not rat stuff!
Stig: It's the same, basically.
Atellus: For you?
Stig: Nooooot really...it's complicated!
Atellus: It's really not!
(the Enforcers are detaining everyone in the Clockwork Court)
GM:
(to Nihilus) One of them is trying to detain you.
(general flash of laughter)
Stig:
Oh, the comedy.(Atellus arrives at the main hall of the Clockwork Court which is crawling with Enforcers)
Atellus:
(mumbling) I think I should
Inquire something...
Enforcer Dude #1:
(looking at Atellus) What?
Stig: I'm not sure. I would really...
Atellus.
(flashing his Inquisitorial Rosette) I DON'T WANT YOU IN HERE!
(no one reacts)
Stig: I think they have fallen deaf.
Stig: What a pity.
Stig: Perhaps you have to SPEAK LOUDER?
(some Enforcer guy walks up to them after Atellus ordered them out of there)
Enforcer Dude #2: They're not stupid, they're just not following your orders but mine.
Nihilus:
He's going to reverse-badge-flash you.(a little later)
Enforcer Dude #2:
(referring to Nihilus) And why is that man holding a scythe to one of my men's neck?
Atellus:
(annoyed) Because he's a psychopath.
Enforcer Dude #2: Does that mean I shall detain him?
Atellus: No.
Stig: Of course not!
(talking to Enforcer General Khan, who is mightily pissed at the Acolytes for disrupting his men at the Court)
Khan: It is OUR crime scene! The Judiciary is OUR responsibility!
Atellus: So at least we know whom to blame.
(Khan has just left the room to inquire something)
Nihilus:
(accusingly) Oh, and you don't slap
him?
Atellus: He didn't draw his Power Scythe when faced with 38 enforcers, did he?
Nihilus: To be fair, you didn't try to detain him, so he had no reason to pull out a Power Scythe.
Nihilus: You could have just told me to let him go. No reason to slap me.
Nihilus:
(sullen, dead serious) You always solve everything with violence.
(discussing a potential hideout of the Logicians)
Atellus: I think they may be hiding somewhere in the underground of District 1.
Atellus: Because it's all metal mechanic stuff that nobody really knows about anything.
Khan: Yes, it's a spaceship. Everybody knows that.
(a full ten seconds of absolute, stunned silence)
Atellus:
(tired) Did you look there?
Khan: It's been sealed of for millenia. The hull is fifty metres thick.
Atellus: Oh that's reassuring! Great! I'm sure nothing bad could
possibly be in there!
Khan: Well, you're welcome to go and look!
Atellus:
(serious) Oh I will.
(out of game)
Nihilus: Putting your food...uuuh...foot down.
Atellus: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR IT!
(slams down an imaginary box on the table) MY LUNCHBOX!
(Atellus and Nihilus return to the Clockwork Court where Stig has been researching stuff in the meantime)
Stig: I might have thought of something!
Atellus: Great. District 1 is a spaceship.
Stig: Oh, yes, yes. Excellent. Now, I've got quite the theory!
Stig: This will...not literally, but...I hope not literally...in case it is literally, I want to apologize...blow your mind.
Stig: What
if we're hunting something which does not exist?
Atellus: Which is? Or isn't?
Stig: An organization!
Nihilus: I thought your common sense.
(a few minutes later, after Stig has finished his explanation)
Stig: So anyway, did you find out anything interesting?
Atellus: As I said, District 1 is a spaceship.
Stig: What? Why didn't you say that earlier?!
Stig: This makes a lot of sense! Do you have any idea how big this
(the ship) is?
Atellus:
(bored) About as big as District 1.
(spinning theories about the Clockwork Court)
Stig: Here's another idea...
Stig: Clockwork...
Atellus: That's your idea?
Stig: No.
Stig: I'm still trying to figure out why to build a clockwork which has no hands...
Atellus:
(tired) Nobody told you to build a clockwork. Please don't.
Atellus:
It's like an Adventskalender. Only without chocolate.(Nihilus has just proposed to remove a cog from the Clockwork Court)
Atellus: Okay. But be careful. We
don't want to destroy it!
(shortly after)
Nihilus: Oops.
Stig: Oops?
Nihilus:
(holding up a cog he has just cut in half) Boss? We need a new one.
(Atellus is using the device that dug a hole beneath Nihilus before)
Atellus:
I put it down on the ground.
Atellus: How did it work again?
(the ground beneath Atellus is removed)
(after Atellus got out of the hole in the last second)
Nihilus: I think it activates when you put it on the ground.
(about putting some drug into Nihilus to make him "see through time")
Atellus: Do you really think that's a good idea?
Stig: I really think it's a bad idea. But it's the only one I got.
Atellus: This planet is obviously doomed. So let's get out of here.
Stig: It's our job to un-doom it.
(at Eupheme Tassel's front door)
Nihilus: That was just what I wanted to ask. Do we do this the polite way or do we ring the door with a Melta Bomb?
(after Eupheme Tassel has given them tons of information)
Nihilus: This lady knows a bit too much for comfort about underground stuff and demons.
Stig:
(sarcastic) So...kill all the information sources!
Nihilus: No. Detain all the information sources and let the Ordos sort that out.
Stig:
(still sarcastic) So - kill all the information sources!
Nihilus: After they've given the information, yes.
(Stig has decided to start throwing the separate parts of a murder victim out of the window of a burning building for his fellow Acolytes below to catch)
Nihilus: Are you serious, Nuts? We are looking for evidence and you drag us up a jigsaw puzzle.
Atellus: I don't think this was done with a jigsaw.
(Stig is just leaving the burning building through a window following a trail while his fellow Acolytes remain inside)
Stig:
(while leaving) Look if there's anything that should not burn down.
Nihilus:
Okay, I find me and I'm pretty sure I should not burn down.(Atellus is trying to bait Nihilus into handing his equipment to Stig so he can fly it somewhere)
Atellus: If you're not giving the nice psyker your equipment you're going to have to leave the killing to us.
Nihilus:
(to Atellus) Did you know this? You can command people in battle, and you can cheer them on.
Nihilus:
Do you know what that makes you?
GM:
(slightly afraid) What does that make him?
Atellus:
(slightly exhausted) A Cheer-Leader.(Nihilus, who's at the Arbites HQ, is talking via vox with Atellus, who has just come out of the sewers at an unknown location)
Nihilus: Hey Boss, found anything good in your round through the sewers?
Atellus: Shard.
Nihilus: Good.
Nihilus: Is Nuts dead yet?
Atellus: Nope.
Nihilus:
(disappointed sigh)
Nihilus: Anyway, Euphie and me are getting bored so...you coming back or what?
Atellus: I don't know where I am.
Nihilus: Aren't there these things on the poles that you can read but I can't?
(Atellus looks around)
Atellus: Indeed there are.
(Nihilus is in a dropship with Eupheme Tassel, trying to make smalltalk)
Nihilus: So, Euphie...what do you do for fun around here?
Eupheme: Well...I've been trying to decipher my grandfather's diaries...
(she looks out of the window)
Eupheme: That's about as much fun as we get around here.
(Nihilus shoots her a disbelieving look)
Nihilus: But...where's the bloodshed?
Eupheme: Oh...there's enough bloodshed. Might want to join the Undertow. I hear there's some bloodshed going on there.
Nihilus: I don't like the left guy.
Eupheme: The...left...guy?
Nihilus: Yeah. The guy sitting on the left.
Eupheme: On the left of what?
Nihilus: Of the other two! Actually, the other one was a woman. Anyway.
Nihilus: He was impolite.
Eupheme: I see...
Nihilus: Now you see, this crime guy on Xicarph. He offered me sweets. He was polite.
Nihilus: We killed him.
(Nihilus arrives, picking Atellus, Marr and Stig up in a dropship...Stig is going barefeet in the acid rain)
Nihilus:
(very calm but very irritated, to Atellus) Why...did he...take off his boots?
Atellus: He...already did it in the sewers. I think we all got really confused.
Nihilus: Well...can't blame you. I'm confused. Because he...took of his...shoes.
(in a dropship, riding back to Haarlock's Folly through an evergroing, turbulent tempest and an ever-escalating civil war going on in the city below)
Stig: Do you know what metaphorical is?
Nihilus: No?
Stig: Well...how should I explain this to you...see-
Atellus: Do you know what Melta-Phorical is?
Nihilus: No?
Atellus: Okay it's the opposite of this.
Stig: No, it's...it's actually...if you say something you don't quite-
Nihilus:
I take off my boots.
Nihilus:
I just take my boots in my arm to signal that I'm confused.Nihilus:
(to Stig) If you say something about protecting the innocents I'm going to smack you.
Stig: Let's say you're some kinda-nuts rogue trader who binds daemonic presences for his personal amusement as his servants...
(Atellus is reading the map and referring to a place marked as the "Seneshal House")
Atellus:
I think it's the Seteshal House.
Nihilus:
There's no "t" in there. That's an "n".
Atellus:
Yes I know that now. Thank you very much, guy with perfect eyesight. Let me punch you with my glasses!(in the acidic sewers that have been flooded about waist-high)
Stig:
Alright. I remove my pants.
(silence)
(more silence)
Atellus:
Nobody wants to see that!
(a little later)
Nihilus:
(to himself) This can't be happening...
(the acolytes have just taken Eupheme Tassel into a dark tunnel leading straight to the center of trouble on Sinophia)
Atellus: Just try to stay out of trouble.
Eupheme: It seems to me that you're doing your very best to get me
into trouble.
Atellus: No, you're gonna be safe with us.
Stig: No no no no no, you're not...actually, I think I have to agree. Even though you're probably in the center of something very very bad-
Nihilus: Stop talking.
Stig: Um...
Nihilus: Just stop talking.
Nihilus: Really, stop talking.
Stig: You know, what...
Nihilus: Stop
talking!
(Atellus and Nihilus grab Eupheme and pull her along, hands over her ears)
(Nihilus has just blown up three goons, one heavy stubber and a whole lot of cover with a melta bomb-induced chain reaction)
Atellus:
Okay, you're getting an honorary rename: Annihilus Cromwell.(Nihilus just stuck his head around a corner while scouting and got shot a with a heavy stubber)
Nihilus:
(via vox) Yeah...we kind of got a welcome party here.
Nihilus: Impolite one. Not offering any sweets.
Nihilus: More like led.
(thinking about what to do now that the daemonic presence in the city has been removed)
Atellus: Well...the guy that we came here for is kind of dead...and I don't really want to wrap up matters with the Undertow and the Enforcers...so...
Atellus: Bail?
(about Mara)
Nihilus: I hate that planet, I don't want to go there.
Stig:
(referring to Mara) You know where we should go?
(Nihilus' strange device has just activated after inserting the Master Control Key)
Atellus: It says: "Master Control Key authorized. Node online. Welcome, Silon Cain."
Stig: Ha! He moved the node!
(Nihilus is having a Q&A session with the strange mind-reading computing device)
Device: "All information on project Tesseract has been erased."
Nihilus: By whom?
Nihilus: If he says "me" I'm gonna punch me.
Device: "All information on project Tesseract has been erased by Silon Cain."
(Nihilus punches himself)
(Stig is deducing Nihilus' age)
Stig: We know that you have used this node as it was still on the line.
Stig: So, that makes you...at least...120.
Nihilus: Well, you forget something.
Stig: Yes?
Nihilus: You're
wrong.