On a "completely unrelated" mission, two acolytes by the names of Goff and Syphus have been pulled from the service of their current inquisitor to aid in an urgent mission of one inquisitor Victus Malar.
(Syphus has just been deposited into their shared quarters by an unknown crewman)
Syphus: Nice cabin...
(awkward silence, followed by a non-commital grunt from Goff)
Goff: Sooo...you're, uh...in the service of his Lordship...as well?
Syphus: Yes.
(more awkward silence)
Syphus: Yeah, um...
Syphus: Well, actually I'm not permanently...well, probably not permanently, yes...I've, um, been transferred here. Transferred here.
Syphus: Because of that thing...I don't know
exactly why...
Goff:
(bored) There will be a briefing. We've just been told.
(after a while of some awkward get-to-know-each-other)
Goff: Are you certain you are well-functioning?
Syphus: Uhhh...I guess so, yes?
Goff: You seem to be having exceedingly high perspiration.
(a while later)
Syphus: Well...probably I should rest before the briefing tomorrow. It's been a long journey so far.
Goff: A wise decision. All mission-relevant equipment should be well-maintained.
(the next day, the acolytes have just had their briefing and found out they are going to Piety)
Syphus: So...have you been on Piety before?
Goff: No.
(very long awkward silence)
Syphus: Me neither.
Syphus: But it is probably a really nice place...
Goff: Query: basis for this statement?
(silence)
Syphus: Uh...um...well...it's called piety so...there's...probably...much of the Ecclesiarchy there?
Goff: Which kind of probability are we talking about?
(a beat)
Syphus: I don't know. I just meant...it's called Piety! Piety is a good thing, isn't it?
Syphus: I wouldn't want to go to a world that's called...like...Certain Death.
Syphus: I wouldn't want to go to a world that's called Certain Death.
Syphus: Would you?
Goff: If I'm ordered, of cource.
Syphus: Yes I would
go, but I would not necessary
want to.
Goff: That is not relevant.
(a beat)
Syphus: Well...yes, it is. You have to...properly...maintain...you mission material...so, like, surviving...and stuff?
Goff: Objection: there is no logical connection between these things.
(silence)
Syphus: Yes...I...suppose...
Syphus: You know what? Let's just...go to Piety and...and...
Syphus: And...
Syphus: And find out what's going on there and hope it's indeed a nice place.
Goff: That does not seem to be relevant to our mission.
(Syphus just sighs)
(Syphus is getting a tad irritated with Goff's social skills)
Syphus: Um...if you...don't mind the question...
(he climbs into his bunk)
Syphus: This is in no way offensive or anything...
Syphus: Did you have a...servitor...in your familiy tree?
Goff: To my great shame I have to admit, yes. My brother commited grave crimes against the Omnissiah and was therefore turned into a servitor.
Syphus: No...that's not...what I...
Syphus: Really?!
(after another few minutes of awkward conversation)
Syphus: Well...so, what do you do during these warp journeys?
Goff: Maintain my equipment, further my needed knowledge and pray to the Omnissiah for a safe journey.
(a beat)
Syphus: Yes...that sounds like...
Syphus: ...something you would do.
(Goff and Syphus are discussing their strategy for getting some information)
Goff: I'm aware of the fact that I shall not ask as a member of the Inquisition, though I have to admit that there are some flaws in my ability to convince people to give me information.
Syphus: No no no, your...ability...it's really fine.
Syphus: It's just that...um...people around here might not be used to the ways from where you come from.
Goff: I concur.
Syphus: So. Glad we cleared that up.
(a little while later)
Goff: Remark: I was planning on posing as a hunter of bounties.
Syphus: Yes! That's just what I thought of!
(Syphus is "refining" Goff's secret identity)
Syphus: Oh! Perhaps...you're a bounty hunter for a chem company...
Syphus: Because that person that actually...um...concerned drugs...
Syphus: No...
Syphus: Yes...
Syphus: No...yes!
Syphus:
(intranscribably grunting noise)
Goff: You are not speaking sense.
Syphus: No I'm not. Just ignore me, I'm sorry.
(Goff moves on, ignoring him completely for the next few hours)
(a while later, in the Tarshik district)
Syphus: Well, we should probably start the search here...
(there is no reaction)
Syphus: Hellp? I'm talking to you?
Syphus: Oh, not this again.
(Syphus snaps his fingers in front of Goff's face)
Syphus:
(to himself) Aw what's wrong with him now?
(still quite a while later)
Syphus:
(to Goff) So, did you hear that?
(no response)
Syphus: Okay, come on, when we are supposed to work together, you actually have to stop ignoring me.
Goff: Acknowledged.
Syphus:
(exasperated) What now?!
Goff: I stopped ignoring you.
Syphus: Just now.
Goff: Yes.
Goff: Because you instructed me. To stop ignoring you.
Syphus:
(sighs) What?
Goff: Prior, you instructed me to ignore you. So I did.
Syphus: REALLY?
(the two are investigating a supposed crime scene)
Syphus: Well...let me have a look...
(he starts fiddling around to manifest a power)
Goff: Information: looking is done via the optical nerve.
(the two have found the deserted and thrashed apartment of one of the victims)
Goff: Observation: there is an unusual amount of entropy and a large amount of injectors in this room.
Syphus: Injectors and what?
Goff: Entropy.
(a beat)
Syphus: Come again?
(Goff thinks about this really hard for a while)
Goff: Un...tidy...ness?
Syphus: Oh...so why didn't you say so?
Goff: Objection: I did.
(the Acolytes have found a lab, complete with a device mounted above a door with a blinking light)
Syphus:
No one would mount an explosive in a doorframe. So...I get the hell out of the doorframe.(Goff removes a contact lens from a dead guy and inserts it into his eye)
Syphus: Wait.
Syphus: Did you just...put...something...that was
in the eye of the dead guys into your eyes?
Goff: Confirmed.
(a beat)
Syphus: Couldn't that be terribly dangerous?
(Goff has just found out that the lenses enable him to see certain cloaked items)
Syphus: Okay, so...there's something invisible lying around here and you can see it with the lenses?
Goff: Positive.
Syphus: Which you just pulled out of the dead man's eye?
Goff: Correct.
Syphus: That's a bit disgusting!
(a beat)
Goff: I do not understand.
(various times after Goff has pulled over a cloak that renders him invisible to the naked eye)
Syphus: Aw come on, where have you gone now?!
(after a whole long while of pondering)
Syphus: You know what? I think I'm gonna need some of there...
(referring to the lenses)
(he makes his way back to the room and picks the lenses from another dead guy's eyes)
Goff: Question: reason for the reluctance?
Syphus: Well...they're...dead man's eyes and this one has his scull slit right across the eyes and these are pretty burned and...
Syphus:
(intranscribable sound of disgust)
Goff: Objection: bodily fluids of recently deceased do not differ in any notable way from bodily fluids of living persons.
Syphus: Yeah, I'm not to fond of bodily fluids of living persons as well.
Syphus: That you very much.
(a few seconds later)
Syphus:
I wipe the lenses on my uniform.
GM:
You now have..."Fussel"...on them.